Replacement Word for "Adoptive Mother"

Question

Since I can't really get along with my adoptive mother without putting on an act and never saying what I really feel without being screamed at, I want to work on getting away from referring to that woman as my mother, and I don't want to have to keep calling her my "adoptive mother", either, because it doesn't really flow right when I'm writing.

I was thinking that "materfamilias" might work, but I just discovered that word today; I don't really know much about its actual usage. It would be nice if it was something that has no connotation or denotation of affection applied to it. If my coming into her presence makes her want to scream at me, I may as well stop ruining her life by showing up at her house. I thought about calling her simply "guardian", but I think what guarding she did went so far overboard that I would feel more accurate calling her an overbearing, overprotective, uncaring ***, but that's too wordy.
Any suggestions?
Damaeus

"Marihuana influences Negroes to look at white people in the eye, step on white men's shadows and look at a white woman twice." -William Randolph Hearst

Usenet · Accepted Answer

[nq:1]I would feel more accurate calling her an overbearing, overprotective, uncaring ***, but that's too wordy. Any suggestions?[/nq]
Yes! When you use the above terms, are you sure that you are not looking in a mirror?

Usenet · Answer

In "graham" (Email Removed) posted on Mon, 12 Apr 2010 09:40:48 -0600 the following:
[nq:2]I would feel more accurate calling her an overbearing, overprotective, uncaring ***, but that's too wordy. Any suggestions?[/nq]
[nq:1]Yes! When you use the above terms, are you sure that you are not looking in a mirror?[/nq]
What brought that on?
Damaeus

"Marihuana influences Negroes to look at white people in the eye, step on white men's shadows and look at a white woman twice." -William Randolph Hearst

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Since I can't really get along with my adoptive mother without putting on an act and never saying what I ... want to have to keep calling her my "adoptive mother", either, because it doesn't really flow right when I'm writing.[/nq]
Why not use "Nancy" or "Phyllis" or whatever her first name is?
[nq:1]I was thinking that "materfamilias" might work, but I just discovered that word today; I don't really know much about ... so far overboard that I would feel more accurate calling her an overbearing, overprotective, uncaring ***, but that's too wordy.[/nq]
I find it difficult to think that the same person can be both "overprotective" and "uncaring" about you. They could be overprotective regarding one person, and uncaring regarding another person, though.

Tony Cooper - Orlando, Florida

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]I find it difficult to think that the same person can be both "overprotective" and "uncaring" about you.[/nq]
You've never encountered parents who were more concerned with others' (presumed) perception than with the actual welfare of their children? Or who cared only about their status or authority as parents and not about the children themselves? Or who projected their own unreasonable fears onto their children? Or who treated their children as possessions to be preserved? There are plenty of reasons for overprotectiveness that have nothing to do with caring for someone.
¬R

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]I was thinking that "materfamilias" might work, but I just discovered that word today; I don't really know much about its actual usage.[/nq]
It's a rare enough word that most people wouldn't have any idea of its usage in English I certainly don't. Some might know its significance in ancient Roman society and think that by "my materfamilias" you meant your wife rather than your mother.
"Stepmother" is technically inaccurate but conveys the connotations that you're after. If it were your biological mother, "genetrix" would work to suggest that your relationship didn't go beyond a genetic one. "Faux-genetrix," perhaps?
"So-called mother" is an expression I've frequently applied to my mother-in-law (whom I had the privilege of never meeting).

¬R

Usenet · Answer

In Glenn Knickerbocker (Email Removed) posted on Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:18:48 -0400 the following:
[nq:2]I was thinking that "materfamilias" might work, but I just discovered that word today; I don't really know much about its actual usage.[/nq]
[nq:1]It's a rare enough word that most people wouldn't have any idea of its usage in English I certainly don't. Some ... were your biological mother, "genetrix" would work to suggest that your relationship didn't go beyond a genetic one. "Faux-genetrix," perhaps?[/nq]
I thought about simply referring to them as my "stepparents", including the use of stepmother and stepfather, even though a stepmother must be married to your biological father, and your stepfather must be married to your biological mother. I'd be okay with referring to my adoptive mother as my stepmother, and my adoptive father as just "my dad" because he actually did seem more caring and friendly than my mother ever did, but they were actually married before I was ever born.

Essentially I'm trying to figure out a word I can use in conversation that makes a distinction between the truly motherly type and what I grew up with.
[nq:1]"So-called mother" is an expression I've frequently applied to my mother-in-law (whom I had the privilege of never meeting).[/nq]
Yes, but I hate to keep referring to her as "my so-called mother" or "the woman who raised me" or "my adoptive mother". It seems like there should be a specific word for an unaffectionate adoptive mother, even though the dictionary defines a mother as "an adoptive mother".

Damaeus

"Marihuana influences Negroes to look at white people in the eye, step on white men's shadows and look at a white woman twice." -William Randolph Hearst

Usenet · Answer

Hi,
"Damaeus" (Email Removed) skrev i melding
[nq:1]Since I can't really get along with my adoptive mother without putting on an act and never saying what I ... want to have to keep calling her my "adoptive mother", either, because it doesn't really flow right when I'm writing.[/nq]
Somebody who knows EN should comment, but words like "matron", "despoina" come to mind.
You might perhaps use "(female) fosterparent".
T

Usenet · Answer

In "Tronscend" (Email Removed) posted on Tue, 13 Apr 2010 15:30:58 +0200 the following:
[nq:2]Since I can't really get along with my adoptive mother ... either, because it doesn't really flow right when I'm writing.[/nq]
[nq:1]Somebody who knows EN should comment, but words like "matron", "despoina" come to mind. You might perhaps use "(female) fosterparent".[/nq]
OO, "matron" sounds good. I often felt like she was only there to supervise and direct me, so I was almost going to call her my "superintendent", but "matron" sounds more suitable, I think.

I can simply say, "My matron always.."
Someone may ask, "Your matron?"
If they do, I can simply reply, "Yes, my adoptive mother. She never really acted like she cared for me, but mostly was one who ordered me around and got mad at me for anything she found that she didn't like without ever complimenting me on anything."
I couldn't find "despoina" in the dictionary; I only found it on Wikipedia as a proper noun.
Damaeus

"Marihuana influences Negroes to look at white people in the eye, step on white men's shadows and look at a white woman twice." -William Randolph Hearst

Usenet · Answer

"Damaeus" (Email Removed) skrev i melding

AFAIK it is greek for "mistress of the house", the female equivalent of a "despot".
But I might be wrong.
T

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Yes, but I hate to keep referring to her as "my so-called mother" or "the woman who raised me" or ... be a specific word for an unaffectionate adoptive mother, even though the dictionary defines a mother as "an adoptive mother".[/nq]
The Evil Stepmother is a stock character in fairy-stories ...

Odysseus

Replacement Word for "Adoptive Mother"

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions