rephrase doubts

Question

0(1) What has sensitized me in more recent years from this metaphor is to also say to us that everyone faces storms. Sometimes, those storms come out of huge systems. They may be a tornado or an avalanche or maybe a car accident, when "there is innocence"---no control, vulnerable to the context. No blame, just pain. Other storms come from bad choices, from addictive behaviors.02br00 02br02br00Is the usage " is to also say to us" ok? Please rephrase.02br00 02br02br00(2) And so as I live and move and have my being on the face of this planet, I'm helped with this framework, with this paradigm, to say belief is in everyone's spirit. It's not just belief but it then begins to shape us, drive convictions in. And my appeal as we think about this important subject tonight, is that we not just think about belief, but we do so with a sense of humility, a sense of discernment, a sense of respect and regard for the people who believe differently than we believe or I believe.02br00 02br02br00Is the sentence construction "not just belief but it then begins to shape us" ok? Please rephrase.02br00 02br02br00(3) So it's 01b00a02b00 positive initiative to invite people to respond to the good news and to move from outside to inside, in an initial encounter experience response to God.02br00 02br02br00Can 01b00a 02b00be inserted? Please check whether the phrase "in an initial encounter experience response to God." makes sense and 01i00kindly rephrase02i0-

Clive · Accepted Answer

0Hi,02br
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01font00(1) What has sensitized me in more recent years from this metaphor is to also say to us that everyone faces storms. Sometimes, those storms come out of huge systems. They may be a tornado or an avalanche or maybe a car accident, when "there is innocence"---no control, vulnerable to the context. No blame, just pain. Other storms come from bad choices, from addictive behaviors.00 02font02br
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01font00Is the usage " is to also say to us" ok?00 No, it's not.00 Please rephrase. 00The intended meaning of this phrase, and in fact the meaning of the whole sentence, is not clear. For example, what does it mean to say that 01i01u00something sensitizes someone from a metaphor02u02i00?02font02br
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00If you wrote this sentence, you need to say it in another way.02br
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01font00(2) And so as I live and move and have my being on the face of this planet, I'm helped with this framework, with this paradigm, to say belief is in everyone's spirit. It's01b00 not just belief but it then begins to shape us02b00, drive convictions in. And my appeal as we think about this important subject tonight, is that we not just think about belief, but we do so with a sense of humility, a sense of discernment, a sense of respect and regard for the people who believe differently than we believe or I believe.02font02br
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01font00Is the sentence construction "not just belief but it then begins to shape us" ok? Please rephrase. 00Again, the meaning is unclear to me. If you start with 'It's not just belief . . ', I would expect you to continue by telling me what it is, and not with a clause that starts with 'but'.02font02br
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01font00 Say00 01i01u00I'm helped 01b00by02b00 this framework,01b00 by 02b00this paradigm.02u02i02font02br
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01font00(3) So it's 01b00a02b00 positive initiative to invite people to respond to the good news and to move from outside to inside, in an initial encounter experience response to ***.02font02br
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01font00Can 01b00a 02b00be inserted? 00Yes, you need to insert it. 00Please check whether the phrase "in an initial encounter experience response to ***." makes sense and 01i00kindly rephrase02i02font02br
00No, don't make a very lengthy phrase like this by simply adding more and more nouns in front as adjectives. People just have to start guessing what you mean. You are the one who knows what you mean, so you are the one who is best equipeed to rephrase it.02br
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00Best wishes, Clive0-

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