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Guest Posted 22 years ago
Grammar

Relocate

Can someone please help me decide this argument....

My friend put on her CV that she travelled to Switzerland for a week or two to do a job. it said:

"When one of the people I worked closely with moved to a new position in Switzerland it became difficult to get work done quickly communicating only by e-mail and telephone so I went over there for a week to get as much done as possible and to plan what else needed to be done upon my return to Bristol"

I didn't like the sentence so I suggested she change it to:

"When one of my co-workers with whom I worked closely with moved to a new position in Switzerland, it became difficult to get work done quickly communicating only by e-mail and telephone. I therefore relocated to Switzerland for a week to get as much done as possible and to plan what else needed to be done upon my return to Bristol. "

However, all my housemates laughed at me for using the word relocate, because they thought it implied that she would stay out there for a long period of time.
My argument is that because usual social factors involving relocation usually are permanent doesn't mean that it is a permanent. Infact it has no relevance to time at all??

I looked it up
Relocate:

Move
change place
Put somewhere else
remain (Antonym)
Definition: to move to another country
Example: She relocated to another country
Hence: she moved to another county for a week

Therefore relocate is a sound sentence to use, no?
  

Top answer

I certainly wouldn't laugh at you, but 'relocate' suggests a much longer move than a week, in common parlance. I think you have a tendency to overdo the vocabulary, as some of the other changes you made were not so good stylistically either: ORIGINAL: "When one of the people I worked closely with moved to a new position in Switzerland it became difficult to get work done quickly communicating only by e-mail and telephone so I went over there for a week to get as much done as possible and to plan what else needed to be done upon my return to Bristol" YOUR REVISION: "When one of my co-workers with whom I worked closely with moved to a new position in Switzerland, it became difficult to get work done quickly communicating only by e-mail and telephone. I therefore relocated to Switzerland for a week to get as much done as possible and to plan what else needed to be done upon my return to Bristol.

— Mister Micawber

  • I certainly wouldn't laugh at you, but 'relocate' suggests a much longer move than a week, in common parlance.
  • I think you have a tendency to overdo the vocabulary, as some of the other changes you made were not so good stylistically either: ORIGINAL: "When one of the people I worked closely with moved to a new position in Switzerland it became difficult to get work done quickly communicating only by e-mail and telephone so I went over there for a week to get as much done as possible and to plan what else needed to be done upon my return to Bristol" YOUR REVISION: "When one of my co-workers with whom I worked closely with moved to a new position in Switzerland, it became difficult to get work done quickly communicating only by e-mail and telephone.
  • I therefore relocated to Switzerland for a week to get as much done as possible and to plan what else needed to be done upon my return to Bristol.
  • " MY REVISION: "When one of my co-workers [HAVING CHANGED TO 'CO-WORKERS' YOU NO LONGER NEED THE ADJECTIVE CLAUSE] moved to a new position in Switzerland, it became difficult to get work done quickly ['EMAIL', 'TELEPHONE' ARE COMMUNICATION DEVICES SO YOU DO NOT NEED THE PARTICIPLE] only by e-mail and telephone; [NO NEED TO CHANGE THE 'SO', JUST ADD A SEMICOLON] so I went [THE PROBLEM WITH 'RELOCATED' HAS BEEN MENTIONED ABOVE] to Switzerland for a week to get as much done as possible and to plan what else needed to be done upon my return to Bristol.
  • " In general, good revision consists of paring out unnecessary words rather than adding more.
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2 Answers
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I certainly wouldn't laugh at you, but 'relocate' suggests a much longer move than a week, in common parlance. I think you have a tendency to overdo the vocabulary, as some of the other changes you made were not so good stylistically either:

ORIGINAL:

"When one of the people I worked closely with moved to a new position in Switzerland it became difficult to get work done quic
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This still all sounds rather muddled to me and really 'too much detail'. In England, at least, the advice is to keep CV's as concise as possible. Why would a prospective employer care about you co-worker had a new position, the fact that your company uses e-mails and telephones, or that you were in Bristol? If you put in too much waffle they CV ends up in the bin, employers may have to go thro
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