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Lucas21c Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
Relative clause
I feel the following sentence sounds awkward.
Could you tell me how I can make it better and natural?
Thank you.
People who fail to gain admission to a topnoch school which they want to enter most suffer from disappointment and frustration and people who are hurt and damaged because of competition just live hiding their wound.
Could you tell me how I can make it better and natural?
Thank you.
People who fail to gain admission to a topnoch school which they want to enter most suffer from disappointment and frustration and people who are hurt and damaged because of competition just live hiding their wound.
Top answer
Hi, I feel the following sentence sounds awkward. Could you tell me how I can make it better and natural? Thank you.
- Hi, I feel the following sentence sounds awkward.
- Could you tell me how I can make it better and natural?
- Thank you.
- People who fail to gain admission to a topnoch school which they want to enter most suffer from disappointment and frustration and people who are hurt and damaged because of competition just live hiding their wound.
- You are trying to say too much in one sentence.
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9 Answers
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Hi,
I feel the following sentence sounds awkward.
Could you tell me how I can make it better and natural?
Thank you.
People who fail to gain admission to a topnoch school which they want to enter most suffer from disappointment and frustration and people who are hurt and damaged because of competition just live hiding their wound.
I feel the following sentence sounds awkward.
Could you tell me how I can make it better and natural?
Thank you.
People who fail to gain admission to a topnoch school which they want to enter most suffer from disappointment and frustration and people who are hurt and damaged because of competition just live hiding their wound.
00
Thank you for your comments, Clive.
By the way, in my original sentence, the first "People" is different from the second "people"
The first one is about people(students) who fail to enter the top-notch colleges whereas the sencond one is about all people(normal people) who get hurt by too much competition.
Could you tell me how I can express my original thought?
By the way, in my original sentence, the first "People" is different from the second "people"
The first one is about people(students) who fail to enter the top-notch colleges whereas the sencond one is about all people(normal people) who get hurt by too much competition.
Could you tell me how I can express my original thought?
00
Hi,
eg
People who fail to gain admission to the top-notch school of their choice suffer from disappointment and frustration. Other people who are more seriously damaged by competition hide their wounds all their life.
Clive
eg
People who fail to gain admission to the top-notch school of their choice suffer from disappointment and frustration. Other people who are more seriously damaged by competition hide their wounds all their life.
Clive
00
How about the following one?
(I revised my original sentence by depending on your comments even though it is almost same as yours.)
People who fail to gain admission to the top-notch school of their choice suffer from disappointment and frustration. Other people who are hurt by intense competition also hide their wounds all their life.
(I revised my original sentence by depending on your comments even though it is almost same as yours.)
People who fail to gain admission to the top-notch school of their choice suffer from disappointment and frustration. Other people who are hurt by intense competition also hide their wounds all their life.
00
Hi,
Why did you say 'also'? Did you mean that the first group's frustration and disappointment is life-long? I didn't get that from the words you used.
Clive
Why did you say 'also'? Did you mean that the first group's frustration and disappointment is life-long? I didn't get that from the words you used.
Clive
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I think they share some bad results in respect that they are stragglers who fall behind competition.
Is the "also" unfit to the sentence?
Is the "also" unfit to the sentence?
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lucas21cPeople who fail to gain admission to a topnoch school [#1] which they want to enter most suffer from disappointment andfrustration[#2] and people who are hurt and damaged because of com
00
Hi,
The 'also' suggests that both groups of people hide their wounds all their lives.
But disappointment and frustration do not sound to me like they are life-long wounds.
Clive
The 'also' suggests that both groups of people hide their wounds all their lives.
But disappointment and frustration do not sound to me like they are life-long wounds.
Clive
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Thank you, dimsumexpress. Thank you, Clive.
Your comments are very helpful and make my understanding clear though my English skills still need to be improved very much.
Again, I appreciate your help.
Your comments are very helpful and make my understanding clear though my English skills still need to be improved very much.
Again, I appreciate your help.
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