Existence itself does not feel horrible; it feels like an ecstasy, rather, which we have only to be still to experience.
I'm not sure which parsing is right.
1. which we have [ecstasy] only to be still to experience.
(ecstasy is the object of 'have' and 'experience').
2. which we have only to be still to experience [ecstasy].
(ecstasy is the object of 'experience').
anonymous 2. which we have only to be still to experience [ecstasy]. (ecstasy is the object of 'experience').
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anonymous2. which we have only to be still to experience [ecstasy].
(ecstasy is the object of 'experience').
It's this parsing.
"have" is part of the semi-modal "have to", i.e., must. We must be still in order to experience this ecstasy.
CJ