Recommendation
I wrote a recommendation for a student to enter an American college.
Could you correct any mistakes?
To whom it may concern,
Shion WAKAYAMA is a student in my homeroom class in the year 2016-18, in her second and third year at Keika Joshi Senior High School. Shion is a creative student who has a positive attitude especially in oral activities in the classroom and is always willing to share her ideas actively with her classmates.
Shion has many friends in her homeroom class, as well as in her extra-curricular activities such as scuba diving club. She had a special training and got an international certification of scuba diving last summer.
Shion is a very considerate person, always there to help people when they are in trouble. I also found her to be a very pleasant student, who always shows respect towards her teachers. I would be very happy to recommend Shion WAKAYAMA as a candidate for your school.
Top answer
"To whom it may concern" sounds a little too impersonal to my (American) ears. " I personally would word it as follows, for example: "Miss Shion Wakayama has been a student in my homeroom class, from 2016 to 2018, her second, third, and fourth, and final, years, at Keika Joshi Senior High School, in ______ , Japan. I know Miss Wakayama as a creative, positive, and out-going student.
- "To whom it may concern" sounds a little too impersonal to my (American) ears.
- " I personally would word it as follows, for example: "Miss Shion Wakayama has been a student in my homeroom class, from 2016 to 2018, her second, third, and fourth, and final, years, at Keika Joshi Senior High School, in ______ , Japan.
- I know Miss Wakayama as a creative, positive, and out-going student.
- She especially shines in oral activities in the classroom, and is always willing to share her ideas with other students.
- Shion has made many friends in homeroom, and in her extra-curricular activities.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
"To whom it may concern" sounds a little too impersonal to my (American) ears. I would address it, for example: "To the college registrar" or "To the college director of admissions."
I would put a "Miss" before the first "Shion."
I personally would word it as follows, for example:
"Miss Shion Wakayama has been a student in my homeroom class, from 2016 to 2018, he
0
Related Questions