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C_chibi Posted 18 years ago
Anyone, please help me. I really need your help to review my essay.
I myself hardly find my errors, so, I need your help to correct my essays. Please.
Thank you before.
This is the topic.
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
And this is my essay:
In our life these days, we usually find students graduated from high school continue their studies to a higher level. It doesn’t seem to be strange anymore for us. Besides, it has already become a trend among us. Actually, there are some reasons why people attend university, and one’s reason could be different from others’. Some only wants to explore new experiences while others seriously want to prepare for their career prospect. Therefore, there are various reasons why people attend university.
First, some people may think that attending a brand new place which they are unfamiliar with will become such a challenge. They are highly spirited to explore new experiences in the university where they should adapt themselves to new environment, friends and even learning style. They consider attending university as a chance to try struggling in a new world.
Second, there are some people who think that education and knowledge are important for determining their future. Therefore, they continue their education to a higher level by attending university. In fact, generally, these kinds of people do it only because they consider getting educated as a duty or obligation. They believe that they need it to be a successful person. Thus, they so often become under pressure due to the absence of strong desire or strong willing from themselves.
In conclusion, I think one’s reasons to attend university may differ from the others. It is strongly determined by the goal that they want to achieve. Some consider it as a fun and exciting experience, while others consider it as a duty.
[cal]18 November 2008[/cal]
Essay & Composition Writing
really needs help, please review my essay
Anyone, please help me. I really need your help to review my essay.
I myself hardly find my errors, so, I need your help to correct my essays. Please.
Thank you before.
This is the topic.
People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
And this is my essay:
In our life these days, we usually find students graduated from high school continue their studies to a higher level. It doesn’t seem to be strange anymore for us. Besides, it has already become a trend among us. Actually, there are some reasons why people attend university, and one’s reason could be different from others’. Some only wants to explore new experiences while others seriously want to prepare for their career prospect. Therefore, there are various reasons why people attend university.
First, some people may think that attending a brand new place which they are unfamiliar with will become such a challenge. They are highly spirited to explore new experiences in the university where they should adapt themselves to new environment, friends and even learning style. They consider attending university as a chance to try struggling in a new world.
Second, there are some people who think that education and knowledge are important for determining their future. Therefore, they continue their education to a higher level by attending university. In fact, generally, these kinds of people do it only because they consider getting educated as a duty or obligation. They believe that they need it to be a successful person. Thus, they so often become under pressure due to the absence of strong desire or strong willing from themselves.
In conclusion, I think one’s reasons to attend university may differ from the others. It is strongly determined by the goal that they want to achieve. Some consider it as a fun and exciting experience, while others consider it as a duty.
[cal]18 November 2008[/cal]
Top answer
In our life T hese days, we usually find students who graduated from high school continue their studies to a higher level. It doesn’t seem to be strange anymore for us (you have switched from 3rd person - students - to 1st person - we, us. Be consistent throughout your essay) .
- In our life T hese days, we usually find students who graduated from high school continue their studies to a higher level.
- It doesn’t seem to be strange anymore for us (you have switched from 3rd person - students - to 1st person - we, us.
- Be consistent throughout your essay) .
- Besides In fact , it has already become a trend among us.
- Actually, there are some reasons why people attend university, and one person ’s reason could be different from than an other ' s’.
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