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Suellen Posted 20 years ago
"Wish" comment it please!! :)
Hey.. I've written this poem but I think there are some grammar mistakes. Could please someone correct it and give any opinion about this poem?? thank you
Wish
Just by listening you say hi
I can feel me as the happiest person in the world
And now I can be sure
I'm not able to live without you by my side
Then what I need is talk to you
It's suck all of your energy
It's dream by hearing your voice
This love is so strong that all things I can forgive
And I could till love my enemies
But I'm not a saint, neither you are
The blood run hot inside my vein
And when I hear your pretty words,
Your breath isn't enough
Nor your kisses can quench my desire
I want my body licked
I need my nipples bitten
I with to be totally eaten
And when I reach the highest pleasure
I'm gonna hold you strong
Keeping you deep inside me and freeze the moment
In order to feel no longer myself alone
Right now I just want to stay lied with you
To have ours bodies joined forever
I cold live just by breathing your power
I wish we don't drift apart, never
Wish
Just by listening you say hi
I can feel me as the happiest person in the world
And now I can be sure
I'm not able to live without you by my side
Then what I need is talk to you
It's suck all of your energy
It's dream by hearing your voice
This love is so strong that all things I can forgive
And I could till love my enemies
But I'm not a saint, neither you are
The blood run hot inside my vein
And when I hear your pretty words,
Your breath isn't enough
Nor your kisses can quench my desire
I want my body licked
I need my nipples bitten
I with to be totally eaten
And when I reach the highest pleasure
I'm gonna hold you strong
Keeping you deep inside me and freeze the moment
In order to feel no longer myself alone
Right now I just want to stay lied with you
To have ours bodies joined forever
I cold live just by breathing your power
I wish we don't drift apart, never
Top answer
A poem about love and pasion two explosive feelings for the heart of a poor human being. Congratulations Suellen, your poem is good. I hope you share some of your feelings through your poems...
- A poem about love and pasion two explosive feelings for the heart of a poor human being.
- Congratulations Suellen, your poem is good.
- I hope you share some of your feelings through your poems...
- Fred (rick)
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2 Answers
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A poem about love and pasion two explosive feelings for the heart of a poor human being. 
Congratulations Suell
Congratulations Suell
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Here's the proofread version -
Wish
Just by hearing you say hi,
I can feel like I'm the happiest person in the world
And now I can be sure
I cannot live without you by my side
Then what I need is to talk to you.
It'll suck all of your energy,
It's a dream hearing your voice
This love is so strong that all thin
Wish
Just by hearing you say hi,
I can feel like I'm the happiest person in the world
And now I can be sure
I cannot live without you by my side
Then what I need is to talk to you.
It'll suck all of your energy,
It's a dream hearing your voice
This love is so strong that all thin
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