Questions on the usage of 'the' in the following case

Question

"Transparency is an essential component that an advanced democracy(can I omit 'an' without making democracy plural in this case) should always pursue to keep. It can encourage people to participate more dynamically in politics and make sure that the party in power to be accountable to its supports who are the majority of the country’s(its first time mentioning the country of the party in power, can I use 'the')citizens.

"Nowadays, with the help(can I omit 'the' in this case? if I can't, is it becuase its a specific help from the technologies?) from various sophisticated media technologies, people can have an easy access(can I omit 'an', why?) to the places where the actual policy making or interest-aggregation processes(is process plural) by government are holding".

Teachers, tell me every awkward expressions that the above sentences have and explain the ways to correct them. Thank you!

Avangi · Accepted Answer

Re your first question, you may certainly do so, but in this particular excerpt I'm afraid the meaning would be corrupted.

Re your second question (btw, did you mean "supporters"?), you may do so only if you do not make the alteration contemplated in your first question.

Re your third question, the way I read the sentence, "the" is completely optional, and might even be better omitted.

Re the fourth one, "an" is a matter of style, and is optional. There's nothing wrong with either option.

The fifth one sounds like an inept translation. It should be, "access to the places where the processes are [being] held." (passive voice)

Actually, the verb "to hold" is not quite appropriate. Meetings are held. Deliberations are carried out. Both may be conducted.

"Process" is singular; "processes" is plural.

The modifiers of "processes" are ambiguous. Does he mean, "policy making processes (or interest-aggregation processes)" sort of in apposition,

OR does he mean two optional things may be going on: (1) policy making (singular, non-countable), and (2) interest-aggregation processes (plural).

In this case, where the compound subject of the clause has a singular and a plural component, we make the verb agree with the closer one, "policy making or processes are [being] held."

It doesn't make much difference to the meaning, but the structure is quite a mess.

I just noticed your last request. That's a tall order! Are you the author?

~~"should always pursue to keep"~~ should always strive to maintain

Ahelaumakani · Answer

Can I omit 'an' without making democracy plural in this case
- I think it sounds best with 'an'. If you took out the an I think it would sound better pluralized in which case you would need to change some things further in the essay to make them plural too.

its first time mentioning the country of the party in power, can I use 'the'
- if referring to the citizens of that country you would either have to use "the" or "a"

can I omit 'the' in this case? if I can't, is it becuase its a specific help from the technologies?)
- "the help of" or "help from" sounds best

can I omit 'an', why?
- yes, I think you should omit "an" because it sounds better

is process plural?
- like avangi said, it depends on what you want to refer to

Now, the stuff that sounds weird. I'm just going to highlight phrases in different colors.

"Transparency is an essential component that an advanced democracy should always pursue to keep (this sounds redundant). It can encourage people to participate more dynamically in politics and make sure that the party in power to be ("is held") accountable to its supports who are the majority of the country’s citizens.(this is too long, it needs to be broken up or written differently, also it just sounds weird)

"Nowadays, with the help from (I think this should be "of) various sophisticated media technologies (this can be rewritten to sound better), people can have an (I think this should be omitted) easy access to the places where the actual policy making or interest-aggregation processes by government (this should be moved and used as an adjective or have "the" in front) are holding (I think this should say "take place" or "occur".).

Pousu · Answer

I really want to thank you so much. I just can't get to the level of fluency in English that I want since I am not a native speaker. yes, I am the author; I used to write research papers for my college major. I just can't write like a professional and it really frustrates me. But thanks to you and other generous teachers, I am able to see the mistakes I unconsciously make and improve my English. Once again, thank you so much.

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