I need some help here with clarifying my question about the tense, which has been confusing me for a while.
I'm not sure which tense is correct/appropriate to use in the below situation.
For example, knowing your friend has just been back from his/her trip to his/her hometown or country and saw the family members there, you would like to ask about his/her family.
"How was your family?" is just ok although all the family members are still alive at the time you're asking this question. Or should I say "How is your family?" instead?
And the answer to the above question would be "Oh, they were all fine." or "they are all fine?"
I remeber learning somewhere that we shouldn't use the past tense to talk about people who are still alive. Therefore I'm confused... since in my native language, using the past tense in the above situation is pefectly fine.
I would appreciate it if you could help me clarify this. Thank you so much in advance!
M&M
Top answer
Hello M&M, 1. How was your sister? 2.
— MrPedantic
Hello M&M, 1.
How was your sister?
2.
How is your sister?
#1 implies that you saw your sister in the past; #2 also implies that she has survived the subsequent period.
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#1 implies that you saw your sister in the past; #2 also implies that she has survived the subsequent period. Both would be fine, in a context of polite enquiry. The choice of focus would be yours.