Although I know the every meaning of the word, but I cannot understand the whole meaning of the sentence.
Put all of your heart into getting that first kiss…only to have it thrown back in your face.
You are reading fanfic. Don't. It is unedited amateur writing by people who can't do it properly.
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You are reading fanfic. Don't. It is unedited amateur writing by people who can't do it properly. It is poorly conceived and riddled with outright mistakes. But, ignoring all that, this sentence seems to be an attempt at stream-of-consciousness, and conventional grammar and cause-and-effect are suspended for that.