Hello, I was wondering, could someone please read over this and suggest how my expression could be improved? I'm not sure if it's misplaced punctuation, or if I should simplify my sentences.
Thanks in advance! Emma
As the film progresses, Nick receives an invitation to one of Gatsby’s parties where he meets Daisy’s friend, Jordan Baker, who is soon taken aside by the mysterious Mr Gatsby and told a remarkable truth: Gatsby has been in love with Daisy for the past five years, and he left her to seek his fortune. Now, he wants to be reunited with her as a successful gentleman (he held the parties in the hope that she would attend), and he asks Nick to arrange a meeting in his house. The film follows the events after their reunion, the troubles which it causes as she is a married woman, and Gatsby’s unrelenting belief that he can ‘repeat the past’ – all of which deflates the idea of the American dream, something that both Nick and Gatsby pursue.
The film’s plot, however, would not be as powerful if it were not for the symbolism and imagery which is used throughout – as is also the case in the novel. The green light at the end of Daisy’s dock, for example, symbolises the light of hope which exists within Gatsby’s heart, as seen when Gatsby stands on his own dock, and gazes longingly at the green light – a symbol of hope which Nick admires.
Top answer
Just a few quick and broad comments. This would make you focus more on good structure. Your first paragraph needs to begin with a topic sentence.
— Clive
Just a few quick and broad comments.
This would make you focus more on good structure.
Your first paragraph needs to begin with a topic sentence.
' In addition, be careful not to start simply re-telling the whole story.
You can usually assume that the reader is familiar with the plot.
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I suggested in a previous thread that your English would improve faster if you avoided parentheses and dashes.This would make you focus more on good structure.
Your first paragraph needs to begin with a topic sentence. Without it, the reader is