Punctuation for a short story

Question

"Maybe if we were born into a different family; a different time; a different place, maybe things would be different."Is the use of the semi-colons correct? Should I use commas instead? Please help!

Clive · Accepted Answer

Should I use commas instead? Yes

Mr D · Answer

Creative writing is an interesting thing and we have this unfounded, mistaken sort of idea that, "well... it's creative writing, so I can do whatever I want!" And while it's certainly true that one can take certain liberties with their writing when writing creatively, one must also realize that the idea is still, ultimately, to transmit the story to readers effectively.

So my answer to y

So my answer to you would be this: You can keep the semicolons, despite their not being entirely "correct," but ask yourself -- why? What purpose do they serve? Do they help you to tell the story more effectively? If the answer is no, then commas would probably be the better choice or even a different construction altogether.

Here are a few different constructions that you might prefer:

1. Maybe if we were born into a different family, a different time, a different place, things would be different.

2. Maybe if we were born into a different family -- a different time, a different place -- things would be different.

3. Maybe if we were born into a different family. A different time. A different place. Maybe things/Things would be different.*

Note that the last sentence is not grammatically correct. "A different time" and "A different place" are not complete sentences. They're sentence fragments. In creative writing, we would call those "stylistic" fragments because they provide a certain emphasis, despite not being grammatically "correct."

I haven't read your story, but I imagine that any one of those three constructions above would be more effective than the semicolons. For me, the semicolons do not add anything.

Punctuation for a short story

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