0
Sailsofoblivion Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
Punctuation
Hi, is this short paragraph punctuated correctly? I'm not sure if I need a comma after "animated", though I'm fairly certain that it's required after run as it's an independent clause.
Thanks in advance!
Creation
The sculptor moulded a faceless doll from flesh coloured material. He then removed his deceased daughter’s hair from a locket and, strand by strand, inserted it into its head.
“What are you doing?” His wife enquired.
He shielded his creation from her view.
“Nothing,”
A face, not unlike their daughter’s, formed on the doll. Its expression was blank – blank, but somehow malicious. The doll was animated, and before either could intervene, picked up a knife.
“RUN!” He cried.
His wife began to run, and she fell as he fled the room. Looking back, he saw the doll approach her…
Knife.
Thanks in advance!
Creation
The sculptor moulded a faceless doll from flesh coloured material. He then removed his deceased daughter’s hair from a locket and, strand by strand, inserted it into its head.
“What are you doing?” His wife enquired.
He shielded his creation from her view.
“Nothing,”
A face, not unlike their daughter’s, formed on the doll. Its expression was blank – blank, but somehow malicious. The doll was animated, and before either could intervene, picked up a knife.
“RUN!” He cried.
His wife began to run, and she fell as he fled the room. Looking back, he saw the doll approach her…
Knife.
Top answer
I'd move the comma from after 'animated' to after the following 'and', Emma.
- I'd move the comma from after 'animated' to after the following 'and', Emma.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
3 Answers
0
I'd move the comma from after 'animated' to after the following 'and', Emma.
00
0
And it needs other work; for one thing, too much punctuation, which impedes progress:
The sculptor molded a faceless doll from flesh-coloured material and then removed his deceased daughter’s hair from its locket, inserting it into its scalp strand by strand.
“What are you doing?” His wife enquired.
“Nothing.” He shielded his creation from he
The sculptor molded a faceless doll from flesh-coloured material and then removed his deceased daughter’s hair from its locket, inserting it into its scalp strand by strand.
“What are you doing?” His wife enquired.
“Nothing.” He shielded his creation from he
0
Related Questions