Punctuation

Are these two paragraphs punctuated correctly?

Thanks in advance!
Emma

Opening:

In the East End of Glasgow, there once lived an impoverished family in a red sandstone tenement. Entangled in a web of neglect, it was the couples’ children, Hamish and Isla, aged ten and six, who suffered most. Their hair was always unkempt, and mud seemed to always be trapped beneath their fingernails, but worst of all, their stomachs were almost always empty. The East End was home to many families living on benefits, but none of the other children suffered like they did. Their parents had begun to drink after years of unemployment, and that is when it all went wrong.

Closing:

After that night, Hamish and Isla never heard from their parents again. Billy’s magic flooded their once darkened lives with light, and they were transformed: their hair was neatly combed, their nails pristine, and their stomachs were filled with delicious foods. Despite this, they often wondered about their unborn sibling. Billy, being a caring guardian, eventually went to their old house, only to find that their mother had miscarried because of her alcoholism. He told them the truth, and though they did not quite understand, they were glad that another child did not have to suffer from their parent’s neglect.