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Sailsofoblivion Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Punctuation?

I have tried my best to punctuate these two lines correctly, but they just don't seem to sound right. Have I missed something?

Thanks in advance!

Ultimately, it is because of this that I have developed a strong connection to the past, and this is a connection which, even if I were to lose the objects I still posses, cannot be broken. They remain as constant reminders of another time, of another world that I was never a part of, but one that I can get so close to that it almost seems to still exist.
  

Top answer

I think that the punctuation is OK. Spelling: posse ss . A couple of super-critical comments that you may choose to ignore.

— GPY

  • I think that the punctuation is OK.
  • Spelling: posse ss .
  • A couple of super-critical comments that you may choose to ignore.
  • (i) For me, the second sentence does not flow in a completely expected or logical way.
  • The first sentence seems to be diminishing the importance of the objects that you possess, but the second sentence continues as if their importance has just been stressed.
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8 Answers
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I think that the punctuation is OK.

Spelling: possess.

A couple of super-critical comments that you may choose to ignore. (i) For me, the second sentence does not flow in a completely expected or logical way. The first sentence seems to be diminishing the importance of the objects that you possess, but the second sentence continues as if their importance has just been stre
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GPYI think that the punctuation is OK.Spelling: possess.A couple of super-critical comments that you may choose to ignore. (i) For me, the second sentence does not flow in a completely expected or logical way. The first sentence seems to be diminishing the importance of the objects that you possess, but the second sentence continues as if their importance has just been st
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sailsofoblivionUltimately, it is because of this that I have developed a strong connection to the past. To me, the objects that I have kept have brought to life another world which no longer exists.
This has fixed the possible problem with the flow, but at the expense of entirely deleting the idea that the connection cannot be broken even if you were to lose t
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GPY sailsofoblivionUltimately, it is because of this that I have developed a strong connection to the past. To me, the objects that I have kept have brought to life another world which no longer exists.This has fixed the possible problem with the flow, but at the expense of entirely deleting the idea that the connection cannot be broken even if you were to lose the object
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sailsofoblivionDo you think it would be a good idea to specify what "this" is? Her house was called St Michael's, so I could say that!
Well, it would depend on what precedes. I assume that you must have already mentioned the house, otherwise "this" would not mean anything to the reader. I think it may be clearer to say "this house" rather than just "this", but
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This is it in context:

St Michael’s was eventually sold, and the majority of the objects which my family found inside were sent to an antique dealer, (and yes, the kimono was returned to the Burrell Collection) but I managed to keep as many of them as possible, and they continue to serve as unique pieces of inspiration. My aunt’s ‘hoarding’ (as my mother so often put it), and the fact t
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In this context, if you mean specifically the house then you need to say "this house".

Since you began by asking about punctuation, I guess I should point out a couple of small comma problems:

The comma after "dealer" isn't right (generally, I cannot think of any case where a comma would be right before an opening bracket). You could put one after the closing bracket.

A
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That was very helpful! Thank you so much! Emotion: smile
GPYIn this context, if you mean specifically the house then you n
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