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Sailsofoblivion Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Punctuation?

Hi, I have tried my best to punctuate the following sentence, but it just doesn't seem right. Could anyone help?

The night before I was scheduled to leave I had heard my parents whispering in the parlour: Clydebank, a town not far from Paisley, had been bombed, and was almost completely destroyed.

Thanks in advance!
Emma
  

Top answer

I would put a comma after "leave". I don't think the colon is wrong, but I do tend to slightly stick on it when I read the sentence. For a smoother read, I would start a new sentence at "Clydebank".

— GPY

  • I would put a comma after "leave".
  • I don't think the colon is wrong, but I do tend to slightly stick on it when I read the sentence.
  • For a smoother read, I would start a new sentence at "Clydebank".
  • Consider whether "had heard" is necessary or whether "heard" would be enough.
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2 Answers
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I would put a comma after "leave". I don't think the colon is wrong, but I do tend to slightly stick on it when I read the sentence. For a smoother read, I would start a new sentence at "Clydebank".

Consider whether "had heard" is necessary or whether "heard" would be enough.
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