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Erenix Posted 16 years ago
Grammar

Prose flowing?

Hi,
Is my punctuation and grammar correct? does it flow well?
Educational inequality and racial discrimination, among other things, are key factors that explain why minority students are underrepresented in gifted education. In contrast, the demographic make-up of special education is heavily based on minority students. It is evident, if not blatant, that there is a profound misidentification of minority students in gifted education.

thanks
  

Top answer

Hello, erenix-- and welcome to English Forums. Educational inequality and racial discrimination , among other things, ( Omit that ameliorator; it is weak style ) are key factors that explain why in the underrepresentation of minority students are underrepresented in gifted education. In contrast, the demographic makeup of special education is weighted toward minority students.

— Mister Micawber

  • Hello, erenix-- and welcome to English Forums.
  • Educational inequality and racial discrimination , among other things, ( Omit that ameliorator; it is weak style ) are key factors that explain why in the underrepresentation of minority students are underrepresented in gifted education.
  • In contrast, the demographic makeup of special education is weighted toward minority students.
  • It is evident , if not blatant , ( inappropriate emotional comment ) that there is a profound misidentification ( Are you sure this is the word you mean?
  • I don't understand it in this context ) of minority students in gifted education.
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5 Answers
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Hello, erenix-- and welcome to English Forums.

Educational inequality and racial discrimination, among other things, (Omit that ameliorator; it is weak style) are key factors that explain why in the underrepresentation of minority students are underrepresented in gifted education.

In contrast, the demographic makeup
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Great feedback, appreciate it. Way easier to read.

the parts that you recommended to omit:

among other things
if not blatant

for future reference, were these non-essential parts given correct punctuation ? The entire paragraph for that matter?

thanks Mister Micawber
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Yes. What about 'misidentification'?
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perhaps another word could have been used. I used'misidentification' to describe minority students who lack recognition in education...?
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