Proposal, please need correcting

Hello. I would really appreciate if somebody could correct my proposal I am specifically interested in the

"logical flow" of the proposal. The task has been taken from CAE(C1) practice tasks. Here it is :

The Student Committee at the college has been given a budget by the college authorities to

create a new facility within the college for the use of all students.

The Committee invites all students to send a proposal suggesting what kind of facility would

be welcomed by the largest number of students, and providing details both of what this

facility would contain and how it would be used.

Once again thanks to everyone, who would try to correct it. It would be of a great help for me.

Proposal

As I have been walking in the university´s courtyard, I have noticed a lot of people complaining about how poorly does the school prepare them for practical applications of their theoretical knowledge. While I do not agree with that opinion in every aspect, I have to put forward the condition of our scientific establishments. Our laboratories could really use an upgrade.

Therefore I would like you to consider building multi-purpose centre which would feature physics department consisting of laboratories and a telescope room. In the next section a place for co-joined biology and chemistry facility including an electron microscope as well as advanced tools for analytical methods could be situated. At least it could contain an supercomputer as well as quantum computer with a complex cooling system.

The main goal would be to provide the students with a world class practical education as well as to attract more researchers to our university. People with allowed access would be undergraduates, graduates, postgraduates and teachers. Supercomputer and quantum computer could be designed as a open-source computational machines, where natural simulations as well as other highly complex problems might be runned and tested. If the capacity would not be catching with the demand, a checklist should be in place.

Our school could certainly use a modern research centre. For that reason I would like you to consider it.