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Usenet Posted 21 years ago
Screenwriting

Proper format for one-sided telephone dialogue...

Sorry if you've seen my question before, but I posted it on the 3rd of March and never saw it in the group.
I have a scene where a tv show host takes a phone call from her secretary. It's a one-sided call where we only hear the tv show host talking. From the tv show host's side of the call, we get that the secretary is transferring a call from a potential show guest. The host asks for the call to be transferred in and then proceeds to talk to the potential guest.

How would this read on the page?
Phone rings.
Host
Yes, Paige?
(pause)
Great! I've been waiting for his call. Put him through. (pause)
Mr. Guest! Great to hear from you.
(pause)
Of course. I spoke with your agent on Friday.
(pause)
Yes. I'll go ahead and fax you a list of my questions. No surprises. (pause)
Thank you, Mr. Guest. Let me know if everything is ok. (pause)
Ok. Bye, now.
It looks horrible to read, but is that they way a one-sided phone conversation would be scripted? I hate the "pauses", and I think "beat" would be just as annoying.
  

Top answer

[nq:1]I have a scene where a tv show host takes a phone call from her secretary. It's a one-sided call ... a one-sided phone conversation would be scripted?

  • [nq:1]I have a scene where a tv show host takes a phone call from her secretary.
  • It's a one-sided call ...
  • a one-sided phone conversation would be scripted?
  • [/nq] Here's the way I'd do it with ellipses, thusly: HOST Yes, Paige?
  • Great!
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12 Answers
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[nq:1]I have a scene where a tv show host takes a phone call from her secretary. It's a one-sided call ... a one-sided phone conversation would be scripted? I hate the "pauses", and I think "beat" would be just as annoying.[/nq]
Here's the way I'd do it with ellipses, thusly:

HOST
Yes, Paige? ... Great! I've been
waiting for his call. Put him
through ... Mr. Guest! Great t
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[nq:1]Here's the way I'd do it with ellipses, thusly: HOST Yes, Paige? ... Great! I've been waiting for his ... questions. No surprises ... Thank you, Mr. Guest. Let me know if every- thing is okay ... Okay. Bye now.[/nq]
That's the way I'd do it too.
But I'd say "thus" rather than the abomination "thusly" !

"Scriptwriting is the toughest part of the whole racket, the least unders
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Thanks, y'all. (y'all being not so much an abomination)
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[nq:1]That's the way I'd do it too. But I'd say "thus" rather than the abomination "thusly" ![/nq]
Abomination, my ***.
(My turn to channel Nesci today)
Gene
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[nq:2]That's the way I'd do it too. But I'd say "thus" rather than the abomination "thusly" ![/nq]
[nq:1]Abomination, my ***. (My turn to channel Nesci today) Gene[/nq]
Kenneth G. Wilson (1923).  The Columbia Guide to Standard American English.  1993.
thusly, thus (advs.)
Prefer thus, or use circumlocutions such as as follows or in this way if you have any doubts about thusly¹s rec
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[nq:2]That's the way I'd do it too. But I'd say ... racket, the least understood and the least noticed." Frank Capra[/nq]
Mebbe not, Pilgrim, but top-posting is frowned upon in impolite society.

"Scriptwriting is the toughest part of the whole racket, the least understood and the least noticed."
Frank Capra
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[nq:2]Here's the way I'd do it with ellipses, thusly: ... know if every- thing is okay ... Okay. Bye now.[/nq]
[nq:1]That's the way I'd do it too. But I'd say "thus" rather than the abomination "thusly" ![/nq]
I'd break up the segments, not with punctuation, but with actions that show something about the HOST character, her relationship with the GUEST character, or some other aspect of the
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[nq:1]Kenneth G. Wilson (1923).  The Columbia Guide to Standard American English.  1993.[/nq]
Who says I'm a Standard American? Sub-standard? Okay, then.
[nq:1]thusly, thus (advs.) Prefer thus, or use circumlocutions such as as follows or in this wayif you have any doubts about thusly¹s reception; to some people it isstill jocular at best.[/nq]
Hey, I was being jocular. Must be
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Gene's suggestion is a clear improvement, but I think it could be trimmed down a bit more. You don't need to indicate every pause in the conversation:
[nq:1]HOST Yes, Paige? ... Great! I've been waiting for his call. Put him through. Mr. Guest! Great to hear from ... of my questions. No surprises. Thank you, Mr. Guest. Let me know if every- thing is okay. Okay. Bye now.[/nq]
Of course, thi
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[nq:2]Abomination, my ***. (My turn to channel Nesci today) Gene[/nq]
[nq:1]Kenneth G. Wilson (1923).ç??The Columbia Guide to Standard American English.ç??1993. thusly, thus (advs.) Prefer thus, or use circumlocutions such as ... to some people it is still jocular at best. Thusly apparently began in the nineteenth century as a humorous ç[/nq]
I've always laughed when I heard it? Shouldn't

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