Proofreading_Essay

Question

Dear Proofreader,I would appreciate your proofreading of my essay. Many thanks.Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for traveller?Easy access and low price of transport vehicles have gone a long way towards increasing in number of travels nowadays compared to those in the past. This grow entitles a number of advantages such as reducing stress and better lifestyle.Nowadays, modern people can easily travel overseas with giant aircrafts, the case which was not possible in the past. The state-of-the-art technology has made travelling more convenient and shorter than it was in the past by advent of modern airplanes, automobiles and trains. Furthermore, global trade has brought about more people to go overseas for business purposes. Finally, young people travel in pursuit of higher education like PhD and to find better lifestyle, especially those from developing countries. These days, being employed is much more competitive than what was in the past and ordinary people choose to go overseas or to another city in pursuit of job.Travel entitles a number of benefits, increasing social skills of traveller and help him or her to meet other people. To start with, travelling, especially to a different country, makes the traveller to become familiar with other cultures. Additionally, it would raise social skills as the traveller can make new friends. Moreover, it could encourage the traveller to learn second language if he or she goes overseas. Generally, people choose to go on a trip for leisure activities and to reduce the pressure they often experience during their routine life or work. Finally, travel goes a long way towards a better-off profession and lifestyle in case which traveller is from developing countries.In conclusion, the low price and availability of various means of transport have caused an increase in travelling. This brings with a lot of merits like better-off jobs and increasing in social skills.

Englishmaven · Accepted Answer

Hi. It's nice to see you are still writing. I made a few changes for you, but I gave you some feedback to help you make some corrections yourself. I hope it doesn't look too bad. I used red so the questions and comments would be easy to notice. Keep writing.

Easy access to and the low price of transport vehicles have gone a long way towards increasing the number of trips people take nowadays compared to those in the past. (Try to put "transport vehicles" closer to the beginning of the sentence.) This growth entitles (You have misused "entitles." Additionally, transport vehicles are very large vehicles used to transport other vehicles or equipment. I think you meant to say "passenger vehicles.") a number of advantages such as reducing stress and better lifestyle (You need to rewrite the second sentence of your introductory paragraph).

Nowadays, modern people can easily travel overseas in giant aircrafts, the case which was not possible in the past. State-of-the-art technology has made travelling (I prefer "traveling" to "travelling") more convenient and shorter (What is shorter?) than it was in the past with the advent of modern airplanes, automobiles, and trains. Furthermore, global trade has brought about ("Brought about" is not the right verb to use here) more people to go overseas for business purposes. Finally, young people travel in pursuit of higher education such as a PhD degree and a better lifestyle, especially those from developing countries. These days, being employed is much more competitive than what was in the past, and ordinary people choose to go overseas or to another city in pursuit of employment.

Travel entitles a number of benefits (Again, "entitles" is not the correct verb), increasing the traveler's social skills, providing him or her the opportunity to meet other people. To start with, traveling, especially to a different country, makes (Use a more precise verb than "make," or reword the entire sentence) the traveler become familiar with other cultures. Additionally, it would raise social skills as the traveler can make new friends (This is repetitive. You said this in the first sentence of this paragraph). Moreover, it could encourage the traveler to learn a second language if he or she goes overseas. Generally, people choose to go on a trip to enjoy leisure activities and reduce the pressure they often experience during their routine lives. Finally, travel goes a long way towards a better-off profession ("Better-off" can be used as an adjective in the subject complement position [Jack is better-off now than he was last year.], but not before a noun as other adjectives are. It sounds like the profession has had an improvement in its life. That's not possible.) and lifestyle in the event that the traveler is from a developing country.

In conclusion, the low price and availability of various means of transport have caused an increase in traveling. This brings with ("Brings with" doesn't make sense here) a lot of merits like better-off (misuse of "better-off") jobs and an increase in social skills.

Mohammad Ramezani · Answer

Thank you for your proofreading and invaluable comments. I have tried to correct my mistakes. Please look into my essay again. I highlighted the related mistakes you mentioned before. Thank you very much.

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for traveller?

Easy access to and low price of passenger vehicles have gone a long way towards increasing in number of travels nowadays compared to those in the past. This grow entails a number of advantages such as reducing stress and better lifestyle.

Nowadays, modern people can easily travel overseas in giant aircrafts, the case which was not possible in the past. The state-of-the-art technology has made traveling more convenient and with associated shorter time than it was in the past by advent of modern airplanes, automobiles and trains. Furthermore, global trade has caused more people to go overseas for business purposes. Finally, young people travel in pursuit of higher education such as a PhD degree and a better lifestyle, especially those from developing countries. These days, being employed is much more competitive than what was in the past, and ordinary people choose to go overseas or to another city in pursuit of employment.

Travel entails a number of benefits, increasing the traveller’s social skills, providing him or her the opportunity to meet other people. To start with, travelling, especially to a different country, enables the traveller to become familiar with other cultures and to make new friends. Moreover, it could encourage the traveller to learn second language if he or she goes overseas. Generally, people choose to go on a trip for leisure activities and reduce the pressure they often experience during their routine lives. Finally, travel goes a long way towards a higher income profession and better lifestyle in the event that traveller is from developing countries.

In conclusion, the low price and availability of various means of transport have caused an increase in travelling. This growth has a lot of merits like better jobs and increasing in social skills.

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