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Mohammad Ramezani Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Proofreading_Essay
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I will appreciate if you proofread my essay. Many thanks.
Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?
The economic crisis which some countries undergoing, has caused some families to promote their children to apply for some part-time jobs. Having a part-time job during the juvenile period, involves some advantages and some drawbacks. Being employed will develop young people’s social skills while it might affect their leisure time resulting in experiencing stress and pressure.
To start with, having a livelihood during the adolescent period will increase self-confidence and independence. This helps young people to learn how to manage their budget to pay for their bills and/or rents. This also contributes to prepare the future generations for the real life and for their future professions. It can be seen in most of developed countries, like Australia, parents encourage their youth to participate in part-time jobs during their studies, resulting in motivating them to further their studies at universities for higher qualifications. These qualifications, therefore, can assist the young people to be employed in skilled professions which can boost a country’s economy. As can be seen motivating the young people for being employed during their studies can improve their self-esteem and an economy of a nation as a whole.
On the other hand, engaging in part-time jobs might lead to disobedient children due to a level of independence they acquire through jobs. When the young people have their own income, they will be reluctant to listen to their parents. Sometimes this can contribute that the school aged children abandon their studies to be able to work full-time and obtain more money. Being employed when studying, will affect the leisure time resulting the future generations in suffering stress and depression. The young generation might sacrifice their extra-curriculum activities like sports in order to do work. This explanation elaborate that being employed has its own disadvantages.
In conclusion, encouraging students to work part-time will promote their social skills and will prepare them for their future life. However, parents should supervise them and advise them so the young people would not abandon their studies for the sake of more income.
I will appreciate if you proofread my essay. Many thanks.
Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?
The economic crisis which some countries undergoing, has caused some families to promote their children to apply for some part-time jobs. Having a part-time job during the juvenile period, involves some advantages and some drawbacks. Being employed will develop young people’s social skills while it might affect their leisure time resulting in experiencing stress and pressure.
To start with, having a livelihood during the adolescent period will increase self-confidence and independence. This helps young people to learn how to manage their budget to pay for their bills and/or rents. This also contributes to prepare the future generations for the real life and for their future professions. It can be seen in most of developed countries, like Australia, parents encourage their youth to participate in part-time jobs during their studies, resulting in motivating them to further their studies at universities for higher qualifications. These qualifications, therefore, can assist the young people to be employed in skilled professions which can boost a country’s economy. As can be seen motivating the young people for being employed during their studies can improve their self-esteem and an economy of a nation as a whole.
On the other hand, engaging in part-time jobs might lead to disobedient children due to a level of independence they acquire through jobs. When the young people have their own income, they will be reluctant to listen to their parents. Sometimes this can contribute that the school aged children abandon their studies to be able to work full-time and obtain more money. Being employed when studying, will affect the leisure time resulting the future generations in suffering stress and depression. The young generation might sacrifice their extra-curriculum activities like sports in order to do work. This explanation elaborate that being employed has its own disadvantages.
In conclusion, encouraging students to work part-time will promote their social skills and will prepare them for their future life. However, parents should supervise them and advise them so the young people would not abandon their studies for the sake of more income.
Top answer
The economic crisis which some countries (missing word) undergoin g, has caused some families to promote their children to apply for some part-time jobs. Having a part-time job during the (juvenile period is non-native) juvenile perio d, involves some advantages and some drawbacks. Being employed will develop young people’s social skills while it might affect their leisure time resulting in experiencing stress and pressure.
- The economic crisis which some countries (missing word) undergoin g, has caused some families to promote their children to apply for some part-time jobs.
- Having a part-time job during the (juvenile period is non-native) juvenile perio d, involves some advantages and some drawbacks.
- Being employed will develop young people’s social skills while it might affect their leisure time resulting in experiencing stress and pressure.
- To start with, having a livelihood during the adolescent period ( adolescent period is non-native) will increase self-confidence and independence.
- This helps young people to learn how to manage their budget to pay for their bills and/or rent s.
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3 Answers
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The economic crisis which some countries (missing word) undergoing, has caused some families to promote their children to apply for some part-time jobs. Having a part-time job during the (juvenile period is non-native) juvenile period, involves
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Thank you for your proofreading. I have made some corrections and some have not any idea about them.
(missing word) undergoing: have undergone
to promote their children: promoting their children
juvenile period: as a youth
rents: rent
to participate in part-time jobs: to be in employment in part-time jobs
As can be seen motivating: As can be seen, motivating
(missing word) undergoing: have undergone
to promote their children: promoting their children
juvenile period: as a youth
rents: rent
to participate in part-time jobs: to be in employment in part-time jobs
As can be seen motivating: As can be seen, motivating
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Mohammad Ramezaniwhen studying, : Do not have any idea aboutIn English we never put a single comma by itself between a subject and verb.
Amir, runs fast. (The single comma is incorrect)
Amir, my best friend, runs fast. (A pair of commas is fine. It sets off a phrase.)
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