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BW2/3 Posted 20 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

proofreading#4

Carlson's wife was a tramp that she gave the eye to every one that she saw in the village. She always dreamed about being actress as if she got some kind of disillusion that she was natural. Her dream was broken when her mom torn down the letters from some studios. She began to hate her mom and wanted to move out her house when she was fifteen. When the opportunity came, she met Carlson who was short and mean but his dad was a wealthy man who owned the biggest ranch in the region. Carlson did not treat his wife well and he did not allow her to talk to any one in the village. He, the light weight boxer, often bragged to his wife that he would beat up people when they stared at her.

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Top answer

You need to make your story livelier. Show; don't tell.

  • You need to make your story livelier.
  • Show; don't tell.
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1 Answers
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You need to make your story livelier. Show; don't tell.

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