Proofreading, discursive

I still need to do my conclusion but could I possibly get any feedback on my discursively writing piece? It's on 'are only young people self-obsessed?

Are only young people self obsessed?

Young people aren't necessarily the only generation that is self obsessed, although they are quite possible the most self obsessed generation. Do you do things to make yourself happy? A 'young person' doesn't have a definite age bracket. It would depend on the person in question. Although according to many philosophers and famous writers, a young person can be one of any age that is young at heart, this is the definition mostly used. Self obsession has increased over the years, with social media statistics skyrocketing. Although deep down many can harness this and make it constructive. War is a big example where not only young people are self obsessed, this is because most warlords are middle aged. Young people get the most criticism from those who are hypocritical. These hypocrites are elderly people. 34% of people aged between 14-34 use their Instagram accounts daily.

The social media statistics are surprising. The social media statistics are increasing rapidly. On the sixth of August in 2014 a shocking 20 billion selfies have been posted on Instagram. This statistic is disgraceful. It shows that instead of caring for others young people are just taking photos of themselves for ego boosters. In Canada a selfie has been nicknamed an ego photo. This is a more accurate way of describing what a selfie is. We can see that there is a tendency for the earlier generations to critique the new generation. This has been happening for hundreds of years as new inventions have risen. This proves that social media can be positive when used the right way, as some people do. People have become self obsessed with the way the look or the likes they get, rather than interacting with other humans.

Self obsession isn't always a negative thing. Many people can use their motivation and personal dislikes to create something positive for others. For example a 17 year old from U.S.A, Hart Main was fed up of his sisters perfume scented, feminine candles. He decided to make 'man can'. Man can is a business that makes 'manly' scented candles. Hart Main collects the cans from soup containers, emptying the soup for the poor. This is an example of young people not being self obsessed. Harts business has donated over 80,000 cans of soup. This is a staggering number, from a boy who was self-motivated by his dislikes. Self motivation is more often than not positive, generally young people have more self motivation than an older person.

War is a place were many young people put others lives ahead of theirs. Many young people do the dirty work for those middle aged men that make the self-centred decisions. An example of this is Adolf Hitler. Adolf hated Jewish people, he then decided to kill over 10 million, with him parading around while young men and women were ordered to do what he wanted. He was clearly self obsessed. He was in his mid-30's when he began his reign of Germany. Adolf centred the world around he's life, killing innocent people because he decided to class them lower than himself. This is the case of many wars and mass massacres. The older person makes the call, then decides to make young people fight, while he stays in safety, collected all the medals. Is it only young people that are self obsessed or should warlords be considered mentally young?

'As a waitress I was under constant scrutiny. In 8 months, I had been abused 3 times, we constantly talk about how young people are too into themselves, but of those 3 times each time the person was above 50. When I told young people they'd reply with an ok, sure or that's fine, I don't understand the criticism.' This was a comment on a post talking about how young people are wrecking humanity. The lady talks of her experiences. This is common too. Elderly people put themselves ahead of others. They don't care about others. Their self obsession isn't the same as young people with selfies and social media, but instead greedy and selfish. A study has shown that those born in generation X are often more selfish that those in generation Z.