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Nekosama Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Proofreading?
Hi teachers, please help me correct any mistakes you found in my email. Thank you!
To: Alison Delton
From: Sarah Queens
Date: September 1st
Subject: revised memo
Alison,
The CEO has asked me to contact you about the memo you sent to everyone yesterday. He is satisfied with it on the whole, but he thought the introduction is rather lengthy, which includes too much unnecessary statistics.
Furthermore, most of the contents of the bid are fine, but you refer to the annual report which won’t be out until next Friday. So, you’d better get rid of this part.
Additionally, the effective way you suggested to negotiate with our new clients is highly commended by our CEO. He thought it was a brilliant selling point.
Last but not least, he’d like you to have something in your concluding remarks about the growth in overseas sales, not just the staff on domestic markets.
If you have any problems or questions, don’t hesitate to call me.
Sarah
To: Alison Delton
From: Sarah Queens
Date: September 1st
Subject: revised memo
Alison,
The CEO has asked me to contact you about the memo you sent to everyone yesterday. He is satisfied with it on the whole, but he thought the introduction is rather lengthy, which includes too much unnecessary statistics.
Furthermore, most of the contents of the bid are fine, but you refer to the annual report which won’t be out until next Friday. So, you’d better get rid of this part.
Additionally, the effective way you suggested to negotiate with our new clients is highly commended by our CEO. He thought it was a brilliant selling point.
Last but not least, he’d like you to have something in your concluding remarks about the growth in overseas sales, not just the staff on domestic markets.
If you have any problems or questions, don’t hesitate to call me.
Sarah
Top answer
Date: September 1, 2016 To: Alison Delton From: Sarah Queens Subject: Memo revisions Dear Alison, The CEO has asked me to contact you about the memo you sent to everyone yesterday. He highly commended the effective way you suggested negotiating with our new clients. He thought it was a brilliant selling point.
- Date: September 1, 2016 To: Alison Delton From: Sarah Queens Subject: Memo revisions Dear Alison, The CEO has asked me to contact you about the memo you sent to everyone yesterday.
- He highly commended the effective way you suggested negotiating with our new clients.
- He thought it was a brilliant selling point.
- Otherwise, he is satisfied with it on the whole, but he thought the introduction was rather lengthy, with too many unnecessary statistics.
- Most of the contents of the bid are fine, but you refer to the annual report, which won’t be out until next Friday, so you should delete that part.
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1 Answers
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Date: September 1, 2016
To: Alison Delton
From: Sarah Queens
Subject: Memo revisions
Dear Alison,
The CEO has asked me to contact you about the memo you sent to everyone yesterday. He highly commended the effective way you suggested negotiating with our new clients. He thought it was a brilliant selling point.
To: Alison Delton
From: Sarah Queens
Subject: Memo revisions
Dear Alison,
The CEO has asked me to contact you about the memo you sent to everyone yesterday. He highly commended the effective way you suggested negotiating with our new clients. He thought it was a brilliant selling point.
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