Proofreading?

Hello. I'm writing a short research paper about poverty and illness in sub-Saharan Africa. I would like you to proofread it. I had the 1st and 2nd paragraphs taken a look by someone, so I will appreciate it if you have a look at the 3rd and the 4th paragraphs. Thank you in advance.

Poverty and Illness in Sub-Saharan Africa

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How would you make a living if you did not have enough money to survive? Money is essential to obtain necessities such as food, shelter, drinks, and clothes. Therefore, without money, death is inevitable. This is based on the significant connection between poverty and illness. Sub-Saharan Africa is an example of a region that is extremely affected by the combination of the two. According to statistics by the World Bank (2016), Sub-Saharan Africa has a population of one billion, and approximately 43 percent of the population live below the poverty line, earning less than $1.90 a day. This indicates that 430 million people in the region live with a paucity of money, and no other region is in a worse financial condition (United Nations International Children’s Fund, 2015). Moreover, this may cause people to develop health issues such as pneumonia, malaria, HIV, and depression, and these health impairments culminate in the patients’ deaths in many cases because they do not have easy access to doctors as they live in poverty. Of these health issues, depressive diseases and HIV infection are extremely prevalent in Sub-Saharan Africa and have a strong correlation with poverty.

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First, poverty can be a direct cause of depression. The Canadian Mental Health Association (2007) suggests that there is a connection between poverty and mental health, and that people who suffer from mental illness often live in chronic poverty; more specifically, adverse financial situations can be the main reason people develop poor mental health. Moreover, Dr. Woldetsadik, an assistant policy analyst at the non-profit, nonpartisan RAND Corporation, examines this phenomenon and states in her article (Woldetsadik, 2015) that 75 percent of the people who suffer from depressive diseases do not have access to mental therapy that they need due to their inadequate possession of money, which in turn leads to this high number of people who suffer poor mental health. Therefore, a poor living environment where people have difficulty managing their money may lead them to developing depressive diseases. In addition, most sufferers cannot afford to undergo necessary treatments and there is no way to cure their mental impairments, and this exacerbates their symptoms. Poverty and depression have a negative feedback loop in which the former intensifies and aggravates the latter, leading inexorably to a worsening of the situation. In addition to the adverse relationship between poverty and depression, poverty also shows a connection with the risk of HIV infection.

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A number of Sub-Saharan Africans suffer from HIV infection, also because they live in an indigent environment. According to the article “Global HIV and AIDS Statistics” by AVERT (2015), an international AIDS charity headquartered in England, it is estimated that 36.9 million people are living with HIV across the world, and 26.8 million out of them, accounting for 70 % of the global total, are those who live in Sub-Saharan African region. The organization also mentions in the article that the majority of the people out of the entire number live in low- and middle- income countries, including many of those in Sub-Saharan Africa. Moreover, the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (2015) explains about HIV on its official website that HIV infection occurs mainly through sharing needles on drug injection, and having an intercourse without using a condom. In Sub-Saharan Africa’s case, the latter is the one that leads to the region’s high number of people who suffer from HIV infection. Health Poverty Action (2015), an international development organization working to strengthen poor and marginalized people in their struggle for health, states that poverty encourages women to engage in sexual activities for money, the environment of which is deleterious to the workers because they have to have an intercourse without a condom used in many cases, which increases the risk of HIV infection. Therefore, being poor is directly related to the increasing number of victims of HIV infection in Sub-Saharan Africa.

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In conclusion, poverty and the diseases, depression and HIV infection, have a strong correlation with each other, and their relationship is a factor that increases the number of people who suffer from the illnesses in Sub-Saharan Africa. The elements that lead to this condition are that people do not have easy access to necessary treatments, and some people have to choose to work in a situation where no harm on their health is guaranteed, merely for a little better pay. In order to provide those sufferers with access to doctors, one could donate to an organization that handles medical issues in poor countries. However, while this is relatively simple, it is very difficult to ameliorate the situation of those “pink-collar” works, because the workers do it on their will. Or else, a campaign where condoms are distributed to inhabitants could be held, consuming funds for charities, so that the number of people who suffer from HIV infection will decline. Eventually, it is the one and only solution for Sub-Saharan Africa to receive some aids from other regions to enhance the quality of the living environments of its inhabitants. Therefore, people who live decently with sufficient money should participate in whatever campaign that aims to improve the quality of lives of people who live in poverty. People are dying even at this moment, so an immediate action should be implemented by individuals.