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Nekosama Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Proofreading?

HI, Teachers, Could you please help me correct my article if there are any mistakes? Thank You!
A number of people assert that physical education should be dropped from the curriculum because of the pressure of new subjects such as business studies.
Although it would be easy to take this statement at face value, the issue is a multifaceted one.
Personally speaking, there are two main reasons to disagree with this statement.

The first reason is that physical activities can help students reduce the stress from studies.
To say that approximately one third Chinese students are in face of different levels of pressures from study and life. It is reported that there are nearly 29,000 students commit suicide in China every year. In addition, about 16% of Chinese students who are under 18 years old said that they have considered of committing suicide before. Most specialists assert that the pressure from study is the major factor contributing to students’ psychological problems.
On the contrary, appropriate physical exercise can help students release their pressure from heavy study load, and it helps to balance the intense study and entertainment as well.
Besides, students can make friends with more people who share the common interests during group activities. Opening up their mind to talk to their friends is also helpful to release their pressure.

The second reason is related to health.
With the rapid development of modern technology and the raising standards of living, more and more students prefer spending a majority of their time on using computers or mobile phones rather than doing physical exercises, and such behaviors have resulted in sedentary lifestyles among them.
Experts say that the number of obese people in China is continuing to rise and will definitely pose an increased health risk, given the prevalence of modern sedentary lifestyles.
Nevertheless, the physical education can ensure students get some exercises during the school days. Physical education is of great importance for students’ health because it can help students to keep fit and to remain a healthy body.

In conclusion, with the above-presented demonstration, I believe that the physical education is worth maintaining and developing because a healthy body and minds can help students study more efficiently and happier. Besides, physical education is as important as academic subjects.
  

Top answer

"one third Chinese" - > "one third of Chinese students" "are in face of" -> "are facing" "from study and life" -> "from their academic workload and other general issues of life"

  • "one third Chinese" - > "one third of Chinese students" "are in face of" -> "are facing" "from study and life" -> "from their academic workload and other general issues of life"
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2 Answers
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"one third Chinese" - > "one third of Chinese students"
"are in face of" -> "are facing"
"from study and life" -> "from their academic workload and other general issues of life"
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A number of people assert that physical education should be dropped from the school curriculum because of the students already face pressure of new from their other subjects. such as business studies. Although it would be easy to take this statement at face value, the issue is a multifaceted one. Personally speaking, there are two main r

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