0
Nekosama Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Proofreading?
Hi Teachers,
Please help correct my article if there are any mistakes. Many thanks!
Both my friend and I have a fancy for hip-hop music, last Friday we had attended a hip-hop concert in Central City.
The audience was so large that the spacious hall was full to fullest; hundreds of thousands of people were squashed like sardines in the tin, I was nearly separated from my friends in the crowd. But no sooner had the famous singer come out than all the girls started rushing up towards the stage. They were yelling and waving flour sticks.
As far as I am concerned, the concert that I had attended was brilliant; I met many people there, who share the same interest in hip-hop music as me. To my surprise, I got the autograph of my idol before he left the stadium; it was really lucky day for me.
Personally speaking, I think other people should try to see the performance, because it would never fail to meet your satisfactory about hip-hop music, and I assure you that you might learn a lot from it.
Please help correct my article if there are any mistakes. Many thanks!
Both my friend and I have a fancy for hip-hop music, last Friday we had attended a hip-hop concert in Central City.
The audience was so large that the spacious hall was full to fullest; hundreds of thousands of people were squashed like sardines in the tin, I was nearly separated from my friends in the crowd. But no sooner had the famous singer come out than all the girls started rushing up towards the stage. They were yelling and waving flour sticks.
As far as I am concerned, the concert that I had attended was brilliant; I met many people there, who share the same interest in hip-hop music as me. To my surprise, I got the autograph of my idol before he left the stadium; it was really lucky day for me.
Personally speaking, I think other people should try to see the performance, because it would never fail to meet your satisfactory about hip-hop music, and I assure you that you might learn a lot from it.
Top answer
nekosama Both my friend and I have a fancy for hip-hop music You've used "have a fancy for" in some of your other texts. Note that you can simply use "like" instead. nekosama music, last That's a comma splice.
- nekosama Both my friend and I have a fancy for hip-hop music You've used "have a fancy for" in some of your other texts.
- Note that you can simply use "like" instead.
- nekosama music, last That's a comma splice.
- nekosama tin, I That's another comma splice.
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Both my friend and I have a fancy for hip-hop musi c.
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
2 Answers
0
nekosamaBoth my friend and I have a fancy for hip-hop musicYou've used "have a fancy for" in some of your other texts. Note that you can simply use "like" instead.
nekosamamusic, lastThat's a comma splice.
nekosamatin, IThat's another comma
00
Hi teechr, Thank you for remembering and correcting my mistakes again. 
By the way, May I know where are you from?
By the way, May I know where are you from?
0
Related Questions