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Nekosama Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Proofreading? (15-Dec-2016.)

Hi, teachers, please help me correct my article if there are any mistakes. Thank you!

It is sometimes difficult to discuss about getting a good job because it is such a multifaceted topic. Some people think that a university degree is very helpful when looking for a job. However, others tend to believe that experience and some social skills are more important weapons to win in the fierce job market.

As far as I am concerned, I think both of these opinions play a crucial role in getting a good job.

For one thing, nowadays, more and more companies, particularly the multinational ones, prefer to recruit people with previous work experience.
The reason is quite simple: firstly, if an applicant is rich in work experience, he is able to fit into with the new position quickly and can deal with the problems that might come across in work more effectively and skillfully.

The second reason is that organizations can save a lot of money and time of training if they can take on experienced staff members, which is important to the company’s overhead management.

Therefore, I think it is necessary for people to accumulate some work experience in a specific field according to their interests which can enable them to have an advantage over other competitors.

For another, many graduates from colleges have found it is not as easy to find a job as they expected even with a bachelor's degree because of the prevalence of university education- there are a flood of graduates with the same degree, so an undergraduate degree is no longer a privilege when job-hunting.
A graduate with a two-pronged or postgraduate degree, in this general trend, will be provided with more job opportunities than those with only one undergraduate degree.

Anyhow, no matter how many undergraduate or postgraduate degrees people have; we can not deny that university education does have a positive effect on getting a good job.

University education allows young people to lay a strong foundation for their future development because what they learn in the university can be applied to both their work and life sooner or later. I think it is recommended that university students can acquire some experience by attending practical courses apart from participating internship programs during university.
  

Top answer

This is not a bad effort, but you really need to work on your paragraphing skills. Restructure the above into an introduction, two body paragraphs and a concluding paragraph. Do not leave dangling sentences in your essay.

  • This is not a bad effort, but you really need to work on your paragraphing skills.
  • Restructure the above into an introduction, two body paragraphs and a concluding paragraph.
  • Do not leave dangling sentences in your essay.
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3 Answers
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This is not a bad effort, but you really need to work on your paragraphing skills. Restructure the above into an introduction, two body paragraphs and a concluding paragraph. Do not leave dangling sentences in your essay.
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It is sometimes difficult to discuss about getting a good job because it is such a multifaceted topic. Some people think that a university degree is very helpful when looking for a job. However, others tend to believe that experience and some social skills are more important weapons to win in the fierce job market. As far as I am concerned, I think both of these opinions play a crucial role in get
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It is sometimes difficult to discuss about getting a good job because it is can be such a multifaceted controversial topic. Some people think that a university degree is very helpful essential when looking for a job. However, others tend to believe that experience and some social skills

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