Proofread Scholarship personal statement

I am applying for a college scholarship and I have to write a 250 personal statement. The prompt is open to whatever topic but they do have a few suggestions to help you get started like "Why do you deserve this scholarship?" and "what are your academic and career goals?" I just want to make sure that this says enough about me and doesn't look like i'm asking for pity. Also I have proofread this but I probably missed some errors. This would be GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks

I have stopped trying to rephrase it in any other way: my mom is dying from cancer. It’s true that none of my family members have explicitly told me, but I honestly have no faith in them to do so. I have been coddled all my life. Since preschool my family has managed to keep a hand close by, ready to conceal my eyes from the “scary” moments of my life. Yet this time it’s different. My family’s hands keep slipping. I have seen my dad’s monotone demeanor and the tears that permanently stain my grandmother’s cheeks. Even though accidental, the coddling has officially stopped.

Everyone says college is a time of maturity and independence. However for most college students this independence is a slight facade. They know they can call their parents for a care package, advice or some extra money. However my source of dependence is being cut short. My mom’s pending death has brought me into a new realm of independence. My mom, the person I depend on the most, is no longer a back up plan. My decisions hold greater significance and I have advanced into a new level of responsibility. I’m completely frightened but my mom doesn’t need to know that. She needs to know I can do it. From medical bills and college expenses, this scholarship will allow my mom to relax for a moment. Not only from the extra financial help, but as proof that her daughter will be okay.