0
Anonymous Posted 20 years ago
Grammar

Proofread please!!

I would really appreciate some proofreading help here.

Thanks a thousand times.

John

Dear Mr., Mrs. Director,


It is with great enthusiasm that I am exploring employment opportunities as a social historian.

After consideration of the required aptitudes, I believe I can provide the necessary expertise and skills as a social historian. I worked for the “Chaire canadienne en histoire comparée de la mémoire” (Canadian research chair in comparative history of memory) for more than two years, a very dynamic and professional research chair. While working for the research chair, I had the opportunity to garner worthwhile work experience in the field of research. Indeed, while at the head of archival service of the research chair, I developed a database to compile and archive the huge number of documents owned by the research chair. The following year I helped set up the research chair project presented at Blois, France. I was also put in charge of the Internet website of the research chair, a task that involved a comprehensive remodeling of the research presented on our Internet website. Right now I teach French as a second language, a vocation that puts forth my ability to effectively communicate and, moreover, my pedagogical and didactic aptitudes. Finally, my international profile, both at the academic and professional level, reveals a spirit of adaptability to the most diverse situations.

I see research as a career-long objective. The ease with which I communicate within a group is strongly corroborated by the multiple conferences that I have given throughout my university career. This last achievement, coupled with my determined interest for work accomplished with assiduity, bear witness to my real passion for research.

Thank you for your consideration of my application. I would welcome an interview and hope to hear from you at your earliest convenience.
  

Top answer

Hi John, You obviously don't need any real help with your English. I've made a few suggestions. In the first long paragraph, I recommend you reword to avoid so much repetition of the phrase 'the research chair'.

  • Hi John, You obviously don't need any real help with your English.
  • I've made a few suggestions.
  • In the first long paragraph, I recommend you reword to avoid so much repetition of the phrase 'the research chair'.
  • Also, it's not totally clear to me whether you are using the phrase to refer to the office (the professorship) or to the person who holds the office (the professor).
  • , Mrs.
Free · every Monday

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.

3 Answers
0
Hi John,

You obviously don't need any real help with your English. I've made a few suggestions. In the first long paragraph, I recommend you reword to avoid so much repetition of the phrase 'the research chair'. Also, it's not totally clear to me whether you are using the phrase to refer to the office (the professorship) or to the person who holds the office (the professor).

G
0
Clive,

You are my hero. Emotion: smile

Since you pointed out that one sentence was shabby, what would you recommend as a substi
0
Hi,

Perhaps This last achievement, coupled with my passion for work accomplished with assiduity, bears witness to my real enthusiasm for research.

Best wishes, Clive

Related Questions