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Surfer Posted 13 years ago
Grammar
Proofread
Hello, everyone.
Would you please read the following imaginary conversation and suggest corrections and/or modifications where necessary? (I'm particularly interested in the bolded Bs, the other ones are merely to reveal context.)
A: No, don't do that, don't put your hands in your pockets while you walk.. .
B: Why?
A: it shows weak personality. A lot of pepole do that as they are unsure what to do with their hands when in public.. .
B: True and, false. Yes, that kind of practice may indicate an underlying weak personality in people, but that's where the caveat is: it's not itself the issue but is rather indicative of it. In the absence of self confidence, some people may become overly concerned with their look and appearance in front of others as they worry they would be judged based on these, such they end up hiding their hands in their pockets as a safest resort from otherwise having to risk being negatively perceived when they fail to look appropriately.
A: Hmm.. .
B: .. If you want to put your hands in your pockets, put them, but only do it because you want to, not because you're thinking of others.
Thank you very much.
Would you please read the following imaginary conversation and suggest corrections and/or modifications where necessary? (I'm particularly interested in the bolded Bs, the other ones are merely to reveal context.)
A: No, don't do that, don't put your hands in your pockets while you walk.. .
B: Why?
A: it shows weak personality. A lot of pepole do that as they are unsure what to do with their hands when in public.. .
B: True and, false. Yes, that kind of practice may indicate an underlying weak personality in people, but that's where the caveat is: it's not itself the issue but is rather indicative of it. In the absence of self confidence, some people may become overly concerned with their look and appearance in front of others as they worry they would be judged based on these, such they end up hiding their hands in their pockets as a safest resort from otherwise having to risk being negatively perceived when they fail to look appropriately.
A: Hmm.. .
B: .. If you want to put your hands in your pockets, put them, but only do it because you want to, not because you're thinking of others.
Thank you very much.
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2 Answers
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Your third speech is very unnatural; it is overly formal and it is too long. Also, you don't need all the ellipses.
A: No, don't do that—don't put your hands in your pockets while you're walking.
B: Why not?
A: It shows a weak personality. A lot of people do that because they're unsure what to do with their hands in public.
A: No, don't do that—don't put your hands in your pockets while you're walking.
B: Why not?
A: It shows a weak personality. A lot of people do that because they're unsure what to do with their hands in public.
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