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Anonymous Posted 13 years ago
Grammar
proof read Thesis please
According to Allan Bloom, higher education (universities and colleges) has failed democracy and impoverished the soul's of today's students.There are may reasons to agree with Bloom's claims and these include; the government's interference of the educational system, the students have been heavily distracted, and the elite class have been conspiring in this situation.
(the word agree, is there a better word to use than that? it sounds to simple)
(the word agree, is there a better word to use than that? it sounds to simple)
Top answer
Before correcting your English in detail, I suggest you need to clarify your thesis as follows. There are may reasons to agree with Bloom's claims and these include; the government's interference of the educational system, the students have been heavily distracted, << You need to say why this is the fault of the universities and colleges. and the elite class have been conspiring in this situation.
- Before correcting your English in detail, I suggest you need to clarify your thesis as follows.
- There are may reasons to agree with Bloom's claims and these include; the government's interference of the educational system, the students have been heavily distracted, << You need to say why this is the fault of the universities and colleges.
- and the elite class have been conspiring in this situation.
- << Who is the elite class?
- What kind of conspiracy?
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9 Answers
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Before correcting your English in detail, I suggest you need to clarify your thesis as follows.
According to Allan Bloom, higher education (universities and colleges) has failed democracy and impoverished the soul's of today's students.There are may reasons to agree with Bloom's claims and these include;
the government's interference of
According to Allan Bloom, higher education (universities and colleges) has failed democracy and impoverished the soul's of today's students.There are may reasons to agree with Bloom's claims and these include;
the government's interference of
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According to Allan Bloom, higher education (universities and colleges) has failed democracy and impoverished the soul's of today's students.There are may reasons to agree with Bloom's claims and these include; the government's interference of the educational system, the students have been heavily distracted, and the elite class have been conspiring in this situation. The government interfered with
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I don't see how these things, eg the distraction of students, are the fault of higher education.
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Do you just want help with your grammar, or do you want help with making your thesis clearer and more logical?
The latter seems like the best first step.
Clive
The latter seems like the best first step.
Clive
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I've already offered some suggestions for making your thesis clearer and more logical, but you don't seem to want to do that.
I'm reluctant to start editing the grammar of sentences that are not well thought out. It's a bit like painting the ship while it is sinking.
Clive
I'm reluctant to start editing the grammar of sentences that are not well thought out. It's a bit like painting the ship while it is sinking.
Clive
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well I those are the three reasons I want to talk about. It's being applied to the book "Closing of the American Mind" by ALLAN BLOOM. I really would like some suggestions because this is my last final essay for the class, and if I do well, I can get an A.
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So you just want me to paint the ship as it sinks?
No, I won't.
Perhaps someone else here will.
Good luck with getting your 'A'.
Clive
No, I won't.
Perhaps someone else here will.
Good luck with getting your 'A'.
Clive
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