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Anonymous Posted 13 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

proof read please

Is the American mind closing? The answer to that is yes and it’s getting worse. In order to find the main problems that caused this to occur we must ask essential questions. A multiple system question which requires evidence and reasoning but the objective is to use the best answers by judgment. According to Bloom, higher education has failed democracy and impoverished the soul’s of today’s students. Unfortunately, he is right but the reason why this happened and is happening as we speak is because the government interfered with education, students have been heavily distracted, and the elites in America may be conspiring to raise unintelligent citizens. The government interfered with the American educational system by implementing laws that lowered the standards of education and created standardized tests. Students are easily losing focus because of social network websites, television shows, and anything else that keeps their mind entertained. The elite groups in America may be participating with each other in order to keep the American mind closed so they can stay in control and seize power.
  

Top answer

You have so many different ideas piled into this paragraph that I can't identify the specific topic of your essay. Consequently, I can't identify your thesis statement about the topic.. Clive

  • You have so many different ideas piled into this paragraph that I can't identify the specific topic of your essay.
  • Consequently, I can't identify your thesis statement about the topic..
  • Clive
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3 Answers
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You have so many different ideas piled into this paragraph that I can't identify the specific topic of your essay. Consequently, I can't identify your thesis statement about the topic..

Clive
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Yes you're right so... I took out one part.

can you identify the thesis now? Emotion: smile

Is the American mind
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This seems to have no connection to the rest of what you wrote:

In order to find the main problems that caused this to occur we must ask essential questions. A multiple system question which requires evidence and reasoning but the objective is to use the best answers by judgment.

I can't make sense of the second of these sentences in any case.

If people are already in c

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