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Anonymous Posted 17 years ago
Grammar
Proof read my essay intro please?-carpe diem
For my in class essay on Monday. Should I lengthen, shorten, or elaborate more? Help is appreciated xD Thanks!
Carpe diem, the theory that suggests true happiness can be obtained by “seizing the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future,” though idealistic, I still found it an appealing way to live. Life is too transient to spend dwelling on the past or wishing for the future. The past holds only memories and regrets; the future, hopes and dreams, thus, only the present, this exact moment, are you truly alive. It is also in this present where happiness is found.
Carpe diem, the theory that suggests true happiness can be obtained by “seizing the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future,” though idealistic, I still found it an appealing way to live. Life is too transient to spend dwelling on the past or wishing for the future. The past holds only memories and regrets; the future, hopes and dreams, thus, only the present, this exact moment, are you truly alive. It is also in this present where happiness is found.
Top answer
I really like the intro, I think you express your opinion pretty eloquently. " It's doesn't mesh well together, because before that you are speaking about the theory without mentioning yourself in the sentence. To have "I still" so late in the sentence when you don't have any pronouns before that just doesn't flow very smoothly.
- I really like the intro, I think you express your opinion pretty eloquently.
- " It's doesn't mesh well together, because before that you are speaking about the theory without mentioning yourself in the sentence.
- To have "I still" so late in the sentence when you don't have any pronouns before that just doesn't flow very smoothly.
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1 Answers
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I really like the intro, I think you express your opinion pretty eloquently. The only problem is "I still found it an appealing way to live." It's doesn't mesh well together, because before that you are speaking about the theory without mentioning yourself in the sentence. To have "I still" so late in the sentence when you don't have any pronouns before that just doesn't flow very smoothly.
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