Hi,
I need some assistance for a personal essay written for a journalism course admission process: the brief was as follows:
In a short autobiographical essay, tell us about yourself. You can write about your family, your education, your talents or your passions; about significant places or events in your life; about books you have read, people you have met or work you’ve done that has shaped the person you have become. Our only requirements are that the essay be informative, well written and reflective of your own voice; our only cautions are that you avoid poetry, purple prose or writing about yourself in the third person.And yes-I've struggled to write a response but I think I have got somewhere finally. Could someone please read and comment please?
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I think it was in the fifth grade when writing for an essay contest that the writing bug bit me. Of course, at the time, I was being purely materialistic with my eyes on the prize of a t-shirt that the contest offered! While the t-shirt soon frayed and tore at the ends, writing has stayed with me. I had discovered a solace for myself through playing with words; and the sheer delight of seeing my words in print was addictive.
I spent my childhood in the United Arab Emirates, where I was privy to my family’s Indian cultures and customs, and, at the same time, exposed to people of several nationalities who had made the Arab nation their home away from home. Interacting with so many different kinds of people at a young age was instrumental in me wanting to know and learn more about the world. Being a voracious reader, I was delighted to borrow my friends’ books; and as a result, I read Chinese folk-tales in tandem with Grimm’s fairy tales. I believe this is where I realized the power of the written word. It was not just fiction and fantasia that enthralled me—I was captivated by well-written articles and opinions in newspapers and magazines. News, the way it should be told, was a subtle reminder to make me break out of my shell; and to see the world from outside my cocoon-like existence.
Owing to financial constraints, I wasn’t able to follow my dream of getting into journalism right away; and instead, I went on to study engineering in India for four years, following which I was hired by Accenture, a world leader in IT se4rvices. The best thing about working for Accenture was the fact that I was, once again, interacting with a lot of different people from all over the world. While I struggled with the technical aspects of my job, it was my cheerful demeanour, my never-say-die attitude, and my dedication that won favour with my bosses and clients. I was inquisitive without being rude, cheerful without being frivolous and, most of all, understanding and determined. Again, I continued to write—freelance writing for blogs, websites and magazines kept my writing alive. I think I knew it was only a matter of time before I went after journalism again; and was preparing myself for that already.
Accenture allowed me to work in three great cities of the world: Mumbai, the city of a million dreams; London, the city with a rich and colourful heritage; and New York, the city that never sleeps. Living in each of these cities was an eye-opener. Living in so many different places of the world has given me a unique view of the world--I can no longer be just a citizen, an expatriate or an immigrant—I am a citizen of the world. The world’s problems are my problems; the world’s victories are my victories too. And I use my writing to communicate this idea, this thought to the world around me. There are stories to be told, people to be understood, places to be seen—and I write to get these messages out.
I write to make sense of things happening around me. I write to devise solutions, to think things through, and to understand. I write because that’s the only thing, I believe, I am good at. I write because it’s personal, it’s mine. I write because it is open, it can be interpreted differently by different people. I write in the vain hope that someone will read it and feel something--maybe an idea, a thought, a vision. I write because I need to satisfy my yearning to be more than what everyone else expects me to be. I write because it is my form of expression, an art, an entity that is beyond me, but still is very much me. I write because I enjoy it, I love it.
I write because it is free.
I write, because I can.
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Please let me know your comments!! Need some support and guidance urgently!

thanks,
ABY