ProblemsWithGrammar

Hi every one. I have to post my essay next week, and it is really improtant, but I have a problem with grammar. I try to use some clever words, but my essay seems to me simple, without rich vocabulary.
I would really appreciate if someone could check and give some suggestions on how to make this essay better. Thanks a lot!!!

Aliya: is the hero from kazakhstan, who tragically died in the WW2, She was fight for Soviyet Union. She is a national hero of Sovyet Army.
Mulan: Is a chines fiction hero, who dressed a men's clothes, and fought instead of her father.

Mulan vs. Aliya
Heroes exist in every culture. They play important role in our history. It is more specific when some cultures have the women heroes. Chinese culture has Mulan, the warrior, the legend and the brave woman, whose personality brought many legends and poems. Although Mulan is a fiction character that came out many centuries ago, history knows real heroes whose character was similar to the story of Mulan. One of the examples is hero of my culture, Aliya Moldagulova. Her story has some similarities with Mulan's story. In this paper my point will be similarities and differences between two characters.

Mulan and Aliya have their plans for future. For Mulan, the most important is family, and she admires her family. After failing the exam that she had to pass in order to bring her family honor, she plans to prove her father that she can pass the exam and bring back the honor to her family. Aliya plans to be a pilot, and fly up to the skies. She likes aviation, and gets into the Aviation academy. But their dreams are not to be realized because the war starts, and that war changes their entire life. When war starts, Mulan and Aliya decide to join the army, but they face the same difficulties.

Before joining army both Mulan and Aliya have similar problems. They have no any fighting skills, and in a short period they had to learn all about it. Mulan starts training hardly, and day after day she improves her skills. Finally when she succeeds, she becomes one of the best soldiers in her army. Meanwhile Aliya starts her training, and every day Aliya works hard to get all the knowledge she needs. She realizes that she has a little time, but she tries really hard. After all she joins the Sniper Colllege, where she graduates with an honor. Aliya also becomes the best soldier among her army.

When the war starts, Mulan and Aliya have similar advantageous privileges from other soldiers. For example, Mulan is clever minded, she uses her talent against her enemies. In one episode, when Mulan’s army is surrounded by enemies, there were no chances to escape from dozens of enemy forces. Mulan shoots army’s last cannon to the top of the mountain where there were a lot of snow. Snow from the mountain creates avalanche, and executes all enemy forces. By shooting into the enemy forces, she could kill several enemies, but with her brilliant idea she saves her army from the death. Mulan plays an important role in the army, and gains the respect by everyone. Meanwhile, Aliya has an excellent eye and outstanding skills on shooting by her sniper rifle. She is the outstanding sniper, and her clear shots execute enemies, and save many lives. Her braveness gains her respect among other soldiers. She gets to the top rank in the battalion. Although Mulan and Aliya are women, they face the war braver than any other men in the army. Even though those two characters had many things in common, they’re story has differences.

One of the differences was their family lives. Mulan had a family life. She had the mother’s love, the father’s care, and the grandmother’s blessing. While having happy life with her family, Mulan always had someone to share her feelings with. Controversially Aliya had totally different situation. Her mother died when she was a child, and her father was escaping from the government. Her childhood passed in the orphanage. Aliya neither had a love of her mother nor a love of her father. She had no feelings of family life.

While legend of Mulan has a happy ending, Aliya’s story has a sad ending. Mulan faces all the difficulties, and at the end saves her nation and her emperor. Emperor awards Mulan with the sword, and gives her a hero status. He offers Mulan to be his adviser, but for Mulan family is the most important part of her life, and she asks to return back home. By bringing an honor to her family, she reaches her dreams. However Aliya’s story is not with happy ending. When her battalion is sent to assault the enemies near “Kazakhiya” village, they are surrounded by a lot of enemy soldiers. One by one Hitler’s snipers start killing Union forces. Aliya start executing all enemy snipers, and gets injured by the last Hitler’s sniper. Even though she is bleeding, she does not give up. She picks up a gun, and executes last sniper who injured her. Until her last breath, she continues assaulting the enemies. She saves others on the cost of her life.

Between The Chinese legend Mulan and Kazakh hero Aliya, there is the bridge that combines those two stories into one idea. They both fought for their motherland, and in the end became heroes. When Mulan is only a fiction, and does not exist in the real life. Aliya is a real person, whose story is similar to Mulans, but with the different ending.
However these totally different events had one type of characters, who despite all the difficulties, with braveness and fearlessness challenged them one by one.