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Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Grammar

Problems with articulating.

Please check this sentence,

In 2009, I was appointed to represent X College in the Safe Cracking Competition,(which our team has built a safe to take part in the competition.)

Note: we will need to build a safe as well for other participants to crack, I don't know how to minimise the words used above, the version now is sooo redundant.
  

Top answer

) Note: we will need to build a safe as well for other participants to crack, I don't know how to minimise the words used above, the version now is sooo redundant. T his sounds like you were by yourself, and not on a team. I don't see how you can make it very short if you want to expalin how the contest works.

— Clive

  • ) Note: we will need to build a safe as well for other participants to crack, I don't know how to minimise the words used above, the version now is sooo redundant.
  • T his sounds like you were by yourself, and not on a team.
  • I don't see how you can make it very short if you want to expalin how the contest works.
  • eg In 2009, I was on the X College team in the Safe Cracking Competition.
  • Each team had to build an uncrackable safe, and try to crack the other teams' safes.
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1 Answers
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Hi,

Please check this sentence,

In 2009, I was appointed to represent X College in the Safe Cracking Competition,(which our team has built a safe to take part in the competition.)

Note: we will need to build a safe as well for other participants to crack, I don't know how to minimise the words used above, the version now is soo
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