Problem with two paragraph grammer

Question

hello teacheri have some grammar problem don't know how to fixplz help with itSince 1997 MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) was been design, until now almost twenty- three years, but many psychiatrist and psychologist figure out that most of MMORPG player has been addiction to the game, and they are inability to stop the activity and cause their life in trouble. Investigation show that MMORPG can affect any people who prolonged play game, and people who are addiction MMORPG may influence their quality life, family and society relationship, and also can cause them physical and psychological problem. Investigate show that the majority addicts are age twelve to seventeen, also show that “female players below the age of 23 were more likely than male players of the same age range to consider themselves addicted to the game”(Nicholas). Different age can have different kinds effect, for example a teenage who was fourteen years old addiction to the game made cause himself school grade going down and relationship between friend. Chicago's WGN news says that “It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. It’s causing kids to forget about their friends, ignore their school work and become impulsive and hot tempered” (Paul). Also according to online article there are many teenage commit suicides cause by online game. For example a South Korean who was collapsed and died after playing virtually non- stop MMOG for 86 hours in southwestern city of Kwangju (Gluck). Also a 13-year-old kid who is from china, his parent report “My son after playing 36 consecutive hours of online games, jumped from the 24th floor of a building and committed suicide while assuming a standard sky-flying pose”(Ying).

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Saintxiao
You recognize that there are many errors in this passage.
I have marked a few places where there are the following types of errors:
1) Incorrect singular form where a plural is necessary, and plural where a singular is necessary.

2) Incorrect verb tense formation

Since these are the most common errors, you can fix these first, and then we can work on the next kinds of problems.
It is best that you correct these problems, so you can learn where you make the most mistakes.

I have corrected a few other words and articles, and also shown where there are missing words. Try to figure out the problem. If you do not understand, we can work on these next.

saintxiaoSince 1997 MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) was been design, until now almost twenty- three years, but many psychiatrist and psychologist figure out that most of MMORPG player has been addiction to the game, and they are inability to stop the activity and (missing word) cause their life in trouble. Investigation show that MMORPG can affect any people who prolonged play (missing word) game, and people who are addiction to MMORPG (improper subject) may influence their quality life, family and society relationship, and also can cause them physical and psychological problem.

Investigate show that the majority of addicts are age twelve to seventeen, (missing word) also show that “female players below the age of 23 were more likely than male players of the same age range to consider themselves addicted to the game”(Nicholas). Different age can have different kinds of effect, for example a teenager who was fourteen years old addiction to the game made cause himself school grade going down and (missing word) relationship between friend. Chicago's WGN news says that “It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. It’s causing kids to forget about their friends, ignore their school work and become impulsive and hot tempered” (Paul). Also according to an online article there are many teenager (missing word) commit suicides cause by online game. For example (missing words) a South Korean who was collapsed and died after playing virtually non- stop MMOG for 86 hours in the southwestern city of Kwangju (Gluck). Also a 13-year-old kid who is from china, his parent report “My son after playing 36 consecutive hours of online games, jumped from the 24th floor of a building and committed suicide while assuming a standard sky-flying pose”(Ying).

Saintxiao · Answer

thank you teacher i just fix those problem can you check again plz

Since 1997 MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) were been created, until now almost twenty- three years, but many psychiatrists and psychologists figure out that most of MMORPG players are addict to the game, and they are inability to stop the activity and addiction cause their life in trouble. Investigation shows that MMORPG can affect any people who long-term play online role-playing game, and people who is addict to MMORPG improper subject may influence their quality life, family and society relationship, and also can cause them physical and psychological problems.

Investigate show that the majority of addicts are age twelve to seventeen, investigate also show that “female players below the age of 23 were more likely than male players of the same age range to consider themselves addicted to the game”(Nicholas). Different age addict can have different kinds of effects, for example a teenager who was fourteen years old addict, addiction to the MMORPG game may cause himself school grades going down and also will effect their relationships. Chicago's WGN news says that “It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. It’s causing kids to forget about their friends, ignore their school work and become impulsive and hot tempered” (Paul). Also according to an online article there are many teenager are commit suicides because online games. For example, a South Korean who is collaps and died after playing virtually non- stop MMOG for 86 hours in the southwestern city of Kwangju (Gluck). Also a 13-year-old kid who is from china, his parent report “My son after playing 36 consecutive hours of online games, jumped from the 24th floor of a building and committed suicide while assuming a standard sky-flying pose”(Ying).

AlpheccaStars · Answer

saintxiaothank you teacher i just fix those problem can you check again plz

Since 1997 MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) (1) were been created, until now almost twenty- three years, but many psychiatrists (OK) and psychologists (OK) figure out that most of MMORPG players (2) are addict to the game, and they are (3) inability to stop the activity and (4) addiction cause their life in trouble. Investigation shows that MMORPG can affect any people who long-term play online role-playing games, and people who (5) is addict to MMORPG (6) (improper subject) may influence their quality life, family and society relationship, and also can cause them physical and psychological problems.

Investigate (7) show that the majority of addicts are age twelve to seventeen, investigate (7) also show that “female players below the age of 23 were more likely than male players of the same age range to consider themselves addicted to the game”(Nicholas). Different age addict (8) can have different kinds of effects, for example a teenager who was fourteen years old addict, addiction to the MMORPG game may cause himself school grades going down and also will (9) effect their relationships. Chicago's WGN news says that “It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. It’s causing kids to forget about their friends, ignore their school work and become impulsive and hot tempered” (Paul). Also according to an online article there are many (10) teenager are commit suicides because of online games. For example, a South Korean who (11) is collaps and died after playing virtually non- stop MMOG for 86 hours in the southwestern city of Kwangju (Gluck). Also a 13-year-old kid who is from china, his parent (12) report “My son after playing 36 consecutive hours of online games, jumped from the 24th floor of a building and (13) committed suicide while assuming a standard sky-flying pose”(Ying).

1) The verb form "were been" is wrong. Were and been are the past, and past perfect of "be". You cannot use them together.
2) "Addict" is a noun, a person who uses drugs. You can say "The children are addicts," but then you cannot say "to drugs", for example. In your sentence you need an adjective, not a noun.
3) Inability is a noun. People are not inabilities. You need to put a verb here.

4) "addiction cause their life in trouble" is not a good sentence. The subject (addiction) does not agree with the verb (cause). You cannot cause a life, either. Life is not a good object for the verb cause. The correct way to say this is "addiction causes trouble in their lives".

5) there are 3 problems here. The subject (people) does not agree with the verb (is), and you have the same problem with "addict" as before.
6) What is the subject of the verb "may influence" and "can cause"? What you wrote does not make sense.
7) Investigate is a verb. It cannot be the subject of a verb. Only a noun can be the subject of a verb.
8) An addict is a person. A person cannot have different effects.
9) The verb is affect. Effect is most often a noun.
10) Many means more than one, and "are commit" is not a proper verb form. Also "suicide" should be singular, not plural. (see the correct quote at (13).

11) "is collapse" is not a proper verb form.
12) Check the subject verb agreement, and also the tense.

To improve your writing, please study how to make English verb tenses.
Also study the parts of speech, and how they are used in simple sentences.

Then you will be better!

Please try to make corrections, and then we can work on the remaining problems.

Cheers,
A-

s

Saintxiao · Answer

thank you teacher plz check my paragraph again thank you

Since 1997 MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) (1) be created, until now almost twenty- three years, but many psychiatrists (OK) and psychologists (OK) figure out that most of MMORPG players (2) are addicted to the game, and they are (3) inability to stop the activity and (4) addiction causes trouble in their lives. Investigation shows that MMORPG can affect any people who long-term play online role-playing games, and player who (5) is addicted to MMORPG (6) (improper subject) may influence their quality life, family and society relationship, and also can cause them physical and psychological problems.

Investigate (7) show that the majority of addicts are age twelve to seventeen, investigate (7) also show that “female players below the age of 23 were more likely than male players of the same age range to consider themselves addicted to the game”(Nicholas). Different age addict (8) can have different kinds of effects, for example a teenager who was fourteen years old addict, addiction to the MMORPG game may cause himself school grades going down and also will (9) affect their relationships. Chicago's WGN news says that “It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. It’s causing kids to forget about their friends, ignore their school work and become impulsive and hot tempered” (Paul). Also according to an online article there are many (10) teenager committed suicide because of online games. For example, a South Korean who (11) collapse and died after playing virtually non- stop MMOG for 86 hours in the southwestern city of Kwangju (Gluck). Also a 13-year-old kid Xiaoyi who is from china, Xiaoyi his parent (12) say “My son after playing 36 consecutive hours of online games, jumped from the 24th floor of a building and (13) committed suicide while assuming a standard sky-flying pose”(

AlpheccaStars · Answer

saintxiaoSince 1997 MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) (1) be created, until now almost twenty- three years, but many psychiatrists and psychologists figure out that most of MMORPG players are addicted to the game, and they are (2) inability to stop the activity and addiction causes trouble in their lives. Investigation shows that MMORPG can affect any people who long-term play online role-playing games, and player who is addicted to MMORPG (improper subject) may influence their quality life, family and society relationship, and also can cause them physical and psychological problems.

Investigate (4) show that the majority of addicts are age twelve to seventeen, investigate (4) also show that “female players below the age of 23 were more likely than male players of the same age range to consider themselves addicted to the game”(Nicholas). Different age addict (5) can have different kinds of effects, for example a teenager who was fourteen years old addict, addiction to the MMORPG game may cause himself school grades going down and also will affect their relationships. Chicago's WGN news says that “It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. It’s causing kids to forget about their friends, ignore their school work and become impulsive and hot tempered” (Paul). Also according to an online article there are many (6) teenager committed suicide because of online games. For example, a South Korean who (7) collapse and died after playing virtually non- stop MMOG for 86 hours in the southwestern city of Kwangju (Gluck). Also a 13-year-old kid Xiaoyi who is from china, Xiaoyi his parent (8) say “My son after playing 36 consecutive hours of online games, jumped from the 24th floor of a building and committed suicide while assuming a standard sky-flying pose”(

1) "be created" is still not correct. I think you are just guessing. Here are the past tense forms of the verb "create"
In 1997, clever programmers created an MMORPG. - Simple past tense.
Since 1997, clever programmers have created many role-playing games. Present perfect tense.

Since 1997, clever programmers have been creating role-playing games. Present perfect progressive tense.

But you do not want to say "the programmers created", you want to make the passive voice where the object (MMORPG) is the subject. Here are the proper forms:

In 1997, an MMORPG was created by clever programmers. simple past tense, passive voice.

Since 1997, many MMORPGs have been created by clever programmers.

2) they are inability to stop the activity. "Inability" is not correct. Can you write this another way?

3) Investigation shows that MMORPG can affect any people who ~~long-term~~ play online role-playing games for a long time.
~~, and~~ A player who is addicted to MMORPG - The rest of the sentence does not logically follow this subject. Can you write it another way? What influences the quality of life? What causes problems?

4) Investigate show that the majority of addicts are age twelve to seventeen,.. Investigate is not correct. This is an action word, not a subject word. The police investigate the crime.

5) Different age addict can have different kinds of effects, ..
"Different age addict" is not correct. It does not make any sense. You seem to confuse the different words - addict (a person), addicted (a description of a person with the disease) and addiction (the disease)

Do you mean to say that These addictions can have different effects on people depending on their age?

I think that your are writing sentences that are too long and complicated for your skill level. It is easy to make mistakes in long sentences. Write very simple and easy sentences. Then you will not make so many mistakes.

Take this one long sentence and break it into four short sentences. I have made a few corrections for you:

Different age addict can have different kinds of effects, for example a teenager who was a fourteen-year-old addict, addiction to the MMORPG game may cause his ~~himself~~ school grades to go ~~going~~ down and also will affect their relationships.

You did not make good corrections for the other mistakes.
For example you say "many teenager". Is there more than one teenager? If there is more than one, you have to make the word plural.

Please try again.

Saintxiao · Answer

thank you teacher plz check again

Since 1997, many MMORPGs have been careated by clever programmers. Until now almost twenty- three years, but manypsychiatrists and psychologists figure out that most of MMORPG players are addicted to the game. For example, inability to stop the activity and addiction causes trouble in their lives. Investigation shows that MMORPG can affect any people who play online role-playing games for a long time. A player who is addicted to MMORPG may causes physical and psychological problems, and also may influence their quality life, family and society relationship,

A Sanford student investigate show that "The majority of addicts are age twelve to seventeen, and female players below the age of 23 were more likely than male players of the same age range to consider themselves addicted to the game”(Nicholas). Different age addict can have different kinds of effects, for example a teenager who was a fourteen-year-old addict, addiction to the MMORPG game may cause his school grades to go down and also will affect their relationships.. Chicago's WGN news says that “It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. It’s causing kids to forget about their friends, ignore their school work and become impulsive and hot tempered” (Paul). Also according to an online article there are many MMORPG player committed suicide. For example, a South Korean Kim Kyung-jae was died after playing virtually non- stop MMOG for 86 hours in the southwestern city of Kwangju (Gluck). Also a 13-year-old kid Xiaoyi who is from china, Xiaoyi his parent says“My son after playing 36 consecutive hours of online games, jumped from the 24th floor of a building and committed suicide while assuming a standard sky-flying pose”(

AlpheccaStars · Answer

saintxiao:
You have made some good corrections, but I worry a lot about your other mistakes.

After 3 times, you are still making the same mistakes, so I know you do not understand why these are mistakes. Because of this, I have made corrections for you.

Please show your mistakes to your teacher so he or she can give you some extra help. Ask your teacher for lessons and exercises on English grammar. Your writing will be much better if you study these lessons.

Also, please write short, simple sentences. After you learn more grammar and your basic writing improves, then you can write longer and more complex sentences.

All the best!

saintxiaoSince 1997, many MMORPGs have been careated (spelling!!!) by clever programmers. Until now almost twenty- three years (I don't understand why you say almost 23 years. This year is 2009, and it is not 23 years after 1997! Also, I do not undertand why you say "until now". Do you mean to say: "Over the past few years, many psychiatrists and psychologiest have recognized that most MMORPG players are addicted to playing these games.") . , ~~but~~ many psychiatrists and psychologists figure (do you mean past or present?) out that most of MMORPG players are addicted to the game. For example, the inability to stop the activity and addiction causes trouble in their lives. Investigation shows that MMORPG can affect any people who play online role-playing games for a long time. A player who is addicted to MMORPG may experience ~~causes~~ physical and psychological problems, and also the addition may influence their quality of life, family and society relationships.

A Sanford student investigate (OK, I have already said 3 times that "investigate" is not correct. The noun is "investigation," just like you used correctly before. If you use this noun, then it will be the subject of the verb "show". You have to change the verb to agree with the subject. Please ask your English teacher to explain this to you so you can understand.) show that "The majority of addicts are age twelve to seventeen, and female players below the age of 23 were more likely than male players of the same age range to consider themselves addicted to the game”(Nicholas). Different age addict (This is still wrong. I think you mean to say this: Game-playing addictions will have different kinds of effects, depending on the age of the player. ) can have different kinds of effects, For example consider the case of a teenager, who was a fourteen-year-old addict. Addiction to the MMORPG game may have caused his school grades to go down and also his relationships to be affected. ~~will affect their relationships~~.. Chicago's WGN news says that “It’s a stimulant. It’s highly addictive. It’s causing kids to forget about their friends, ignore their school work and become impulsive and hot tempered” (Paul). Also according to an online article there are many MMORPG players who have committed suicide. For example, a South Korean named Kim Kyung-jae ~~was~~ died after playing virtually non- stop MMOG for 86 hours in the southwestern city of Kwangju (Gluck). Also there was a 13-year-old kid, Xiaoyi, who is from China. Xiaoyi's ~~his~~ parent says “My son after playing 36 consecutive hours of online games, jumped from the 24th floor of a building and committed suicide while assuming a standard sky-flying pose”(

Saintxiao · Answer

thank you teacher thanks for help <img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/1.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/1.gif' alt='Emotion: smile'/>

Problem with two paragraph grammer

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