Problem with abbreviated language: omitting articles and transforming sentences

Question

Hello,Could somebody possibly help me with the following list of "Tips" (in fact, it's a list of software features). Especially the last item is problematic, as it is a sentence...---• automatic verification of partner creditworthiness using CreditCheck• possibility to bulk import database of partners from Excel into [software name].• using filters to compile list of contacts appropriate for campaign, business offer, distribution of general communication and others• depth and complexity of evaluation of marketing activities adapted to client's requirements• automatic recording of persons responsible for establishment, change or invalidation of the individual activities• all events that take place with the partner and their contact persons are recorded on the contact card, giving rise to their individual diaries---Correction of wording welcome as well!Many thanks in advance,P.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

I think I have already had to do this once for you. In future, review previous help you have been given.

• automatic verification of partner creditworthiness using CreditCheck
• bulk importation of partner database from Excel into [software name]
• filtered compilation of contact lists for campaigns, business offers, general communications, etc.
• sophisticated evaluation of marketing activities adapted to client requirements
• automatic record of persons responsible for establishment, change or invalidation of individual activities
• automatic record of individual diaries on contact card covering all events between partner and their contacts

Petusek · Answer

Oops! Indeed. I'm very sorry to have bothered you with that again. I was in a hurry and didn't check it out properly. I haven't been here for a long time and missed your response in haste. I'll be more cautious next time!

Thank you very much for your effort anyway!

P.

Petusek · Answer

Hello, again! Since you are an expert, Mister Micawber, would you mind looking at the following, too? Admittedly, it's a bit longer this time:

• record keeping and campaign management
• record keeping for activities
• record keeping for gifts and giveaways at contact persons
• record keeping for contact persons
• record keeping for letter post
• record keeping for business transactions
• record keeping for partners
• phase of currently negotiated trade
• bulk import of partner database
• mail merge
• bulk creation of activities
• competition monitoring
• verification of partners in ARES,
• increased likelihood of trade realization
• connecting activities to tasks and linkage to documents
• list of trades expected in coming days
• sorting activities by persons, traders, types, time, folders, etc.
• sorting contact persons by function, marketing classification, date of birth or hobbies
• sorting partners by areas, regions, satisfaction, branch credit score, etc.
• record keeping for contract communication
• evaluation of campaigns, business opportunities, economic profitability, etc.
• responsibility of specific individuals

Many thanks for any comments in advance!

Thankfully,

P.

Mister Micawber · Answer

I would probably do this:

• record keeping for campaign management, giftings, mailings, and other functions
• record keeping for contact persons, partners, contract communication, and other business transactions
• phasing of currently negotiated trade
• bulk import of partner databases
• mail merge
• bulk creation of activities
• monitoring of competition
• verification of partners in ARES
• increasing likelihood of trade realizations
• connecting activities to tasks and linkage to documents
• listing of trades expected in coming days
• sorting of activities by person, trader, type, time, folder, etc.
• sorting of contact persons by function, marketing classification, date of birth, hobby, etc.
• sorting of partners by area, region, satisfaction, branch credit score, etc.
• evaluation of campaigns, business opportunities, economic profitability, etc.
• monitoring (?) responsibility of specific individuals

They could probably be (and should be) compacted more, but I am not familiar enough with the similarity of those software features to do so.

Petusek · Answer

Thank you very much!

The problem is I'm only translating the contents, and can thus do little about the structuring.
As the number of bulletted items can't be changed, merging them - no matter how logical and reasonable your suggestions are - is impossible here.

As regards some of the corrections, I've got a few questions if I may:

1) "Phasing", as far as I understand the word, seems to mean something like "dividing into phases" (?), but I realize now the original may have wanted to say something like "checking current status of trade/transaction in progress", if that makes any sense to you.

2) As to the last item, it probably means that it's easy to find out who's responsible for/in charge of what.

3) As far as contract communication is concerned, I wonder if contractual communication or transactional communication would be better here (I'm not sure what the difference is, it's not quite clear to me from what I've read so far).

Again, thank you for all the invaluable suggestions - I've learnt so much! I'm really grateful! :-)

P.

Mister Micawber · Answer

petusekThe problem is I'm only translating the contents, and can thus do little about the structuring.

As a competent translator, that is precisely what you should be doing. Presentation in English is not the same as in your native language—obviously!

Petusek · Answer

Mister Micawber: As a competent translator, that is precisely what you should be doing. Presentation in English is not the same as in your native language—obviously!

You're right, of course, but as far as these lists (messy as they are) are concerned, I can only change the structure at the level of a phrase/sentence. I can do little about larger textual units, since the items will become a part of some promotional poster with a predetermined layout or what.

Problem with abbreviated language: omitting articles and transforming sentences

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