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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Vocabulary

Problem with a sentence

Hello!

I have a problem with this sentence:

"Already as a youth, the middle child with two sisters, I was growing up in the world of sexy cosmetic bottles, which were becoming more and more attractive."

It feels very weird, but I can't find the way to repair it. Can anyone see how to make it readable?

Plus, the expression "cosmetic bottles" is not ok. What's the general word for any kind of cosmetics packaging (creams, powders, lipsticks,...)

Please please help Emotion: smile

Thank you!
  

Top answer

Your sentence is OK. If I were revising, I might do this: Already as a youth and the middle sister , I was growing up in the world of **** cosmetics , which were becoming more and more alluring to me.

  • Your sentence is OK.
  • If I were revising, I might do this: Already as a youth and the middle sister , I was growing up in the world of **** cosmetics , which were becoming more and more alluring to me.
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6 Answers
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Your sentence is OK. If I were revising, I might do this:

Already as a youth and the middle sister, I was growing up in the world of **** cosmetics, which were becoming more and more alluring to me.
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Mr. M. -- You assumed that Anonymous was female -- which I suppose is true, since it was not contradicted in the reply. But when I read the original post I assumed the writer was male, and was beginning an explanation of how growing up between two sisters encouraged his development in a non-traditional direction. I guess you were right, but I think my version was more interesting.
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Oh, yes! Please post it and then Anon can choose!
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Maybe it's because "as a youth" in the original sentence sounds "male" to me --or maybe it's just a reflection of the amount of gender-bending literature that finds its way through my house. Who knows.
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Hi,

I find 'youth' an interesting word.

Where I live, it is used a great deal by the media, particularly in the plural sense of 'many youths', eg a new government program for unemployed youth .. . .

Yet in my personal experience, I would say that I never hear people in real life use the word 'youth', in either the singular or plural.

Clive

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