preface in opening phone call

Question

Hi allCould you please review this my preface  paragraph between the bracket [] while i tried to introducing my product to the prospective customer.[ " Good morning, i am calling from a software firm which specialized in developing software solution for pharmaceutical business support.If i would like to introducing our good drug stability system to your company, who is the right person should i contact for this. Or could you please to allow me to speak to your QC department rightnow ? " ]Thanks for your kind attention.RegardsKholid

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hi Kholid, I am visiting this site for the first time and am not too sure how it works but I presume you are looking for a proof read? If so here goes! I read somewhere that if you keep each line in a marketing email to just 65 characters long it is much more appealling & easier for the recipient to read.

(Good Morning, I am calling from a software firm which specializes
in developing software solutions for pharmaceutical business support.
I would like to introduce our good drug stability system to your (good is not really a good word to use maybe try "highly successful" or "new" or "proven"
company and would be grateful if you could please advise who is
the right person for me to contact for this?

Alternatively I could speak to your QC department right now ? ]

Thanks for your kind attention.
Regards
Kholid

Feebs11 · Answer

I take it you are making a cold call by telephone?

" Good morning, I am calling from [name of company], which is a software firm that specializes in developing software solutions for pharmaceutical business support.
We have a proven program for recording drug stability that we would like to introduce to your company.
Could you tell me who is the person that I should contact about this?
Alternatively, could I speak to someone in your QC department?"

Mchoud · Answer

Hi all,

Thanks for your kind attention. It is valuable advice for me. I am sorry if my English is not too good, because i am from a developing country which is having economic difficulties even for improving my English. I hope all of you will not boring to answer my question.

Continuing my above question. Usually the company reception giving answer and suggest me to send the product introduction brochure trough postal mail or email. Now could you please review this my introduction email.

[

Dear Sir/Madam

Firstly let me introduce myself, i am Kholid a business development associate of XYZ company which is specialized in developing software solution for pharmaceutical laboratory testing management.

Today i would like to introduce a proven stability study management system. It is a world class software that has been successfully and used by world wide company.

We have two kind of stability study solution,
1. Self life calculation :
It is the calculation software to accurately determine the expiration date of drug product. This solution will covering both normal and accelerate testing method for single batch and pooled testing as well. There will be graphical trend with single side or double side confidence interval. It is very easy to use, and working well with no high computer specification required.

2. Comprehensive Stability Management :
It is a information management system for complete management of your drug stability program. From the design of stability study protocols to statistical analysis and presentation of final data for FDA submission, your stability data could not be better managed.

Kindly please find out the enclosed brochure, feel free to visit to www.xyz.com and we are ready to demonstrating the program for your Quality Assurance team trough web based interactive meeting or by visit to your site.

Thanks for your kind attention.
Your Sincerely
Kholid

]

Thanks once again for your kind attention and help.
Best Regards
Kholid

Feebs11 · Answer

mchoudHi all,

Thanks for your kind attention. It is valuable advice for me. I am sorry if my English is not too good, because i am from a developing country which is having economic difficulties even for improving my English. I hope all of you will not boring to answer my question.

Continuing my above question. Usually the company reception giving answer and suggest me to send the product introduction brochure trough postal mail or email. Now could you please review this my introduction email.

[

Dear Sir/Madam

Firstly let me introduce myself. I am Kholid, a business development associate of XYZ company, which ~~is specialized~~ specializes in developing software solutions for pharmaceutical laboratory testing management.

~~Today i would~~ I would ike to introduce to you a proven stability study management system. It is a world-class software that has been successfully tested and used by world wide company. [too vague - by one company, more than one company? Can you name the company?

We have two kinds of stability study solution,
1. Shelf-life calculation :
A calculation software to accurately determine the expiration date of drug product. This ~~solution will covering~~ covers both normal and accelerated testing methods for single batches ~~and pooled testing as well~~.as well as pooled testing. T~~here will be graphical trend with single side or double side confidence interval.~~ It is very easy to use, and works well with no high computer specification required.

2. Comprehensive Stability Management :
An information management system for complete management of your drug stability program. From the design of stability study protocols to statistical analysis and presentation of final data for FDA submission, your stability data could not be better managed.

Please read the enclosed brochure, and feel free to visit our website: www.xyz.com ~~and we are ready to demonstrating~~ . At any time, we are ready to demonstrate the program to your Quality Assurance team, ~~trough~~ either by web-based interactive meeting or by a visit to your site.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Your faithfully,
Kholid

]

Thanks once again for your kind attention and help.
Best Regards
Kholid

#
If you have the name of a person at the company, use that in your salutation: Dear Mr xxxx/Dear Ms yyyy, and end with Yours sincerely. Wherever possible it is better to send such letters to a specific person.

Anonymous · Answer

He All,
Thanks for your valuable answer, i think it would be very useful for my occupation.
What the other question is, how about to close the letter with a hope. How about the following closing sentence.

[ Thanks for your kind attention and i look forward your good reply. ]

is that polite ?

Thanks

Feebs11 · Answer

I hope you find the above of interest and shall look forward to hearing from you.

preface in opening phone call

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