poverty

Question

Can someone please help with my essay about poverty?

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

If yo post some sentences from your essay, we can help you with it.

Darwalaa725 · Answer

i was thinking of finishing a bit more of it but it'll be just great if i can get help with these two paragraphs. It is an informal essay and im not too sure about grammar and such

I have never felt a heart aching feeling as I had that day. As a matter of fact, starring back to the soulless child held by his starving mother is the reoccurring vision that never escapes my mind. For quite some time I have passed by the abandoned store that stood around the corner leading to my family’s home, not once did I notice a family of four with so much will to survive but with little to nothing. I was young at the time, I haven’t exactly understood why death had been so greedy to take the life away from an innocent child. Little did I know that the child’s death had been the outcome of humanity. To this day poverty remains in my eyes as one of the major issues in the world.
All human lives have limitless values, but when standards and costs of living are on the rise, poverty becomes an inevitable matter that diminishes these values. The need for survival becomes unreachable. Poverty is the deprivation of social needs and the human condition of pain, grief, and despair. It is the grief of the single mother watching her one year old die before her eyes as a result of a disease that can only be stopped by unaffordable medical care.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

I have never felt such a heart-aching feeling as I had that day. As a matter of fact, starring back at the soulless (lifeless?) child held by his starving mother is a reoccurring (recurring) vision that never escapes my mind. For quite some time I have (had?) passed by the abandoned store that stood around the corner leading to my family’s home, but not once did I notice the family of four with so much will to survive but with so little ~~to nothing~~. I was young at the time; I haven’t (didn't) exactly understood why death had been so greedy to take the life away from an innocent child. Little did I know that the child’s death had been the outcome of humanity (Seems more like an outcome of inhumanity! ). To this day poverty remains in my eyes as one of the major issues in the world.
All human lives have limitless values, but when standards and costs of living are on the rise, poverty becomes an inevitable ~~matter~~ and diminishes these values. The need for survival becomes unreachable. (I don't understand - everyone has the need to survive. ) Poverty is the deprivation of social needs and the human condition of pain, grief, and despair. It is the grief of the single mother watching her one-year-old die before her eyes as a result of a disease that can only be stopped by unaffordable medical care.

Darwalaa725 · Answer

i actually changed a few things around in paragraph 2 but my main concern is i feel as if its weak maybe because it should be informal and it's a grade 12 essay

All human lives have limitless values, but when standards and costs of living are on the rise, poverty becomes an inevitable matter that diminishes these values. The need for survival becomes unreachable. Poverty is the deprivation of social needs and the human condition of pain, grief, and despair. Poverty is the desire of a young boy playing outside a school unable to join his friends because his parents do not obtain the social skills required for an education or are unable to afford any money needed to buy books. It is the grief of the single mother watching her one year old child die before her eyes as a result of a disease that can only be stopped with unaffordable medical care. The poverty stricken, uneducated, and hungry families become a main priority to achieving equality throughout the world.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

All human lives have limitless values, but when standards and costs of living are on the rise, poverty becomes an inevitable matter that diminishes these values.
The need for survival becomes unreachable. (I disputed this sentence because it is not the need that is unreachable, but basic survival itself is in jeopardy)
Poverty is the deprivation of social needs and the resulting) human condition of pain, grief, and despair. Poverty is the desire of a young boy playing outside a school unable to join his friends because his parents do not obtain the social skills required for an education or are unable to afford any money needed to buy books. (This is a run-on sentence. It is unreadable.)
It is the grief of the single mother watching her one year old (hyphenated) child die before her eyes as a result of a disease that can only be stopped with unaffordable medical care.(the medical care she cannot afford) The poverty stricken (hyphenated), uneducated, and hungry families become a main priority to achieving equality throughout the world.(The families are not the priority; helping them out of poverty is. )

Darwalaa725 · Answer

all done just one final look perhaps please:)
also i was wondering is this informal enough? is it a good grade 12 paper ? and are the conclusions appropriate ?

I have never felt a heart aching feeling as I had that day. As a matter of fact, starring back at the lifeless child held by his starving mother is a recurring vision that never escapes my mind. For quite some time I had passed by the abandoned store that stood around the corner leading to my family’s home, but not once did I notice the family of four with so much will to survive but with so little. I was young at the time; I had not exactly understood why death had been so greedy to take the life away from an innocent child. Little did I know that the child’s death had been the outcome of inhumanity. To this day poverty remains in my eyes as one of the major issues in the world.
All human lives have limitless values, but when standards and costs of living are on the rise, poverty becomes inevitable and diminishes these values. Poverty is the deprivation of social needs and the resulting human condition of pain, grief, and despair. Poverty is the desire of a young boy playing outside his school, unable to enter due to lack of social skills required for an education, and the ability to afford money needed to buy books. It is the grief of the single mother watching her one-year-old child die before her eyes as a result of a disease that can only be stopped with the medical care she cannot afford. Aiding the poverty-stricken, uneducated, and hungry families becomes a main priority to achieving equality throughout the world.
As I matured, I had developed an interest in global issues. It became significant to me that the distribution and lack of sufficient resources are a few of the primary factors leading to poverty. Only when rich nations have more than the poor can we identify poverty. The truth is there is more than enough resources and labour to save every starving human. People living in a developed country and those with high income rates are most unlikely to suffer hunger than those in poor countries. Thus, the poorest developing countries are obligated to carry the burden of starving families. However, by disregarding these situations there will be many more victims as a consequence of the unequal and insufficient distribution of resources.
The idea of creating a more just society for everyone becomes almost an unconvincing mission. Nonetheless, by giving a helping hand, regardless of your status we can take a step towards overcoming poverty. Rather than viewing the starving family with indifference, I chose to lend a hand. Returning home that afternoon, I felt a sense of security and gratitude for everything I have ever been blessed with. As to conclude, we must begin to accept poverty as a fact of life. Living in a blessed nation we must reduce selfishness, embrace simplicity, while having a few desires.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

Here are some suggestions. I did not understand your conclusion, because it contradicted the direction that you were following in the earlier paragraphs.

I have never felt such a heart aching feeling as I had that day. As a matter of fact, starring back at the lifeless child held by his starving mother is a recurring vision (image) that never escapes my mind. For quite some time I had passed by the abandoned store that stood around the corner leading to my family’s home, but not once did I notice the family of four with so much will to survive but with so little. I was young at the time; I had not exactly understood why death had been so greedy to take the life away from an innocent child. Little did I know that the child’s death had been the outcome of inhumanity. To this day poverty remains in my eyes as one of the major issues in the world.
All human lives have limitless values, but when standards and costs of living are on the rise, poverty becomes inevitable and diminishes these values. Poverty is the deprivation of social needs and the resulting human condition of pain, grief, and despair. Poverty is can be seen in the desire of a young boy playing outside his school, unable to enter due to the lack of social skills required for an education, and the ability to afford ~~money needed to buy~~ books. It can be seen in the grief of the single mother watching her one-year-old child die before her eyes as a result of a disease that can only be stopped with the medical care she cannot afford. Aiding the poverty-stricken, uneducated, and hungry families becomes a main priority to achieving equality throughout the world.
As I matured, I ~~had~~ developed an interest in global issues. It became significant (obvious / evident) to me that the distribution and lack of sufficient resources are a few of the primary factors leading to poverty. Only when rich nations have more than the poor can we identify poverty. (I do not understand this sentence. There are poor people living in wealthy nations, too. Perhaps you mean When rich nations recognize the extent of global poverty...) The truth is that there are more than enough resources and labour in the world to save every starving human. People living in a developed country and those with higher incomes ~~rates~~ are ~~most~~ unlikely to suffer hunger ~~than those in poor countries~~. Thus, the poorest developing countries are obligated to carry the greatest burden of starving families. However, if we in the developed countries disregard ~~by disregarding~~ these situations there will be many more victims as a consequence of the unequal and insufficient distribution of resources.
The idea of creating a more just society for everyone becomes almost an unconvincing (??? unconvincing means that it is not important, and you are not going to do anything about it.) mission. Nonetheless, by giving a helping hand, regardless of your status we can take a step towards overcoming poverty. Rather than viewing the starving family with indifference, I chose to lend a hand. Returning home that afternoon (what afternoon? What hand did you lend?) , I felt a sense of security and gratitude for everything I have ever been blessed with. ~~As to~~ To conclude, we must begin to accept poverty as a fact of life (this means you are going to ignore poverty) . Living in a blessed nation we must reduce selfishness, embrace simplicity, while having a few desires.

poverty

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

Related Questions