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Fahad123 Posted 11 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Please evaluate my Ielts essay and point out mistakes.


Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?


International sporting events are always a source of attraction for everyone, large numbers of people used to attend these events to show love and support for their country. Many people argue that such occasions are mandatory for exhausting their hate and tension for their rival country. Others state that these events could boost up tension between countries and deteriorate their relation. I agree to some extent that such opportunities could be a menace to the people of nations.

It is often seen that people start fighting over supporting their country. Sometime situation goes out of controlled and caused lots of casualties. Many unbiased people are also hurt in these riots. This will end by leaving bad impressions of their country to the world.

However, events like football or cricket world cup provide opportunity to people to understand and explore about the cultures and norms of their rival country. They closely observed and spend time with each other’s. This will surely help in removing their conflicts and disputes.

In some cases, such as in football world cup 2014, after elimination of North Korea, the supporters of both South and North Korea supported South Korea by side lining their personal differences. This is the perfect example to demonstrate the worth of these events.

In conclusion, I believe that international events are not proved to be fruitful in lessen high temperature between nations. They seem to me more destructive and violent while supporting their teams. However, people could become normal by increasing the frequency of these events.
  

Top answer

fahad123 International sporting events are always a source of attraction for everyone International sporting events are always an attraction for everyone fahad123 , large numbers of people Large numbers of people fahad123 Others state that these events could boost up "Up" is superfluous there. "Boost" is an odd wording. Increase would be a more natural choice.

  • fahad123 International sporting events are always a source of attraction for everyone International sporting events are always an attraction for everyone fahad123 , large numbers of people Large numbers of people fahad123 Others state that these events could boost up "Up" is superfluous there.
  • "Boost" is an odd wording.
  • Increase would be a more natural choice.
  • fahad123 deteriorate their relation .
  • deteriorate their relations .
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1 Answers
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fahad123International sporting events are always a source of attraction for everyone
International sporting events are always an attraction for everyone
fahad123, large numbers of people
Large numbers of people

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