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Eli76 Posted 10 years ago

Poetry

Could you give me feedback about this poem?

Gone

You are gone
I search for you
I find no peace
I find no rest

I am empty
I am lost
I’ve lost my roots
I want my home.

It’s a futile journey
You are not to be found
You’re lost to me
I lost my home.

I am now lost
I am a wanderer
I am not anymore
I am gone.
  

Top answer

Hello, eli76—and welcome to English Forums. Thank you for registering as a member. eli76 Could you give me feedback about this poem?

— Mister Micawber

  • Hello, eli76—and welcome to English Forums.
  • Thank you for registering as a member.
  • eli76 Could you give me feedback about this poem?
  • It is repetitive and makes no progress.
  • It could be completed in 4 lines: You are gone I search for you I find no peace I am gone.
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1 Answers
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Hello, eli76—and welcome to English Forums. Thank you for registering as a member.
eli76Could you give me feedback about this poem?
It is repetitive and makes no progress. It could be completed in 4 lines:

You are gone
I search for you
I find no peace
I am gone.
0

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