Poems help please.

0 Hey there. I was wondering if someone can edit/review these poems for me please!01blockquote

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10Foxhole12br
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10Zigzag.12br
10Cramped and contaminated.12br
10Secure by the parados,12br
10but only by the rear.12br
10Surrounded by nothing but filth and stench of blood.12br
10Geography of the Trenches.12br
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10Lines.12br
10Front and support.12br
10Bombarding and barraging.12br
10Reserve.12br
10Watching, waiting, and entertained by the overflowing latrines.12br
10Rest.12br
10Enjoying the luxurious gravel like a soccer ball on turf.12br
10Life in the Trenches.12br
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10Weapons.12br
10Artillery and mining,12br
10domination.12br
10Odor and sight like dead dead rats on a sunny hot day,12br
10chlorine gas neutralized. <- (does the dead rats work w/ the chlorine gas?)12br
10Maxine and Vickers,12br
10adequate.12br
10Lee and Ross,12br
10not so much.12br
10Warfare in the Trenches.12br
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10Casulaties.12br
10Sanitary conditiors poor.12br
10Reek of the rotting sandbags, rotting corpses, lingering odor poison gas.12br
11i10Chatting12i10; pyrexia or trench fever.12br
10Machine guns, 12br
10slaughter.12br
10Left in no man's land...12br
10Death in the Trenches.12br
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10The Bloodshed began.12br
12blockquote

10For that one, my teacher said I needed more figuarative language and 5-sense detail. I just need someone to edit/review it and see if it's okay and then I'll try to add more. Thank you.02br
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002nd poem:01blockquote

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10Sand12br
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10Sand;12br
10I held it,12br
10brown granny granular.12br
10Danced in my hand.12br
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10Butterfly;12br
10Yellow sunlight12br
10Brown cinnamon bun.12br
10Danced in my hand.12br
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10I open my hand...12br
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10My palm with long brown lines12br
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10 I kind of don't know how to end it. I just stop there after my palm. Any help would be appreaciated. Thank-you.02br
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00 3rd poem/haiku:01blockquote

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10With large and big buns,12br
10The meat was tender and fresh.12br
10McDonalds Big Mac.12br
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00 Any help on either of the poems would be greatly appreciated. Thank-you very much.0-