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Xellosgear Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Poems
i have written a poem i wanted to know what are the improvements i can make in this poem
For what they may say
They say you are a dream..
Far ahead of man's desire...
Running wild over self cherished valley
Feeding on fear and ignorance
They say you are utopia
Chanting hymns of lambency
Over the dreaded soul.
Who couldn’t understand your motives..
They say I was a fool,,
To search for you
When i defied all rules...
Went after you
They say ...I will regret
I know what I am doing...
I am listening to my vital signs.
They are all whispering
Their harsh disapproval...
For what they may say....
It’s of no exertion
For what they may say
They say you are a dream..
Far ahead of man's desire...
Running wild over self cherished valley
Feeding on fear and ignorance
They say you are utopia
Chanting hymns of lambency
Over the dreaded soul.
Who couldn’t understand your motives..
They say I was a fool,,
To search for you
When i defied all rules...
Went after you
They say ...I will regret
I know what I am doing...
I am listening to my vital signs.
They are all whispering
Their harsh disapproval...
For what they may say....
It’s of no exertion
Top answer
Hello, xellosgear - and welcome to English Forums. I am always interested in reading new poetry efforts, even though I am usually very critical. Good poetry is written only by a very special few people.
- Hello, xellosgear - and welcome to English Forums.
- I am always interested in reading new poetry efforts, even though I am usually very critical.
- Good poetry is written only by a very special few people.
- You have a nice phrase in your poem: I am listening to my vital signs But you have more that just don't make real sense; they are simply a group of words that sound nice to you: self cherished valley Chanting hymns of lambency It’s of no exertion And others that are just cliche instead of original concepts: you are a dream Feeding on fear and ignorance i defied all rules.
- Their harsh disapprova l But the main problem is that I don't know what it is about.
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2 Answers
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Hello, xellosgear - and welcome to English Forums. I am always interested in reading new poetry efforts, even though I am usually very critical. Good poetry is written only by a very special few people.
You have a nice phrase in your poem:
I am listening to my vital signs
But you have more that just don't make real sense; they are simply a group of words that so
You have a nice phrase in your poem:
I am listening to my vital signs
But you have more that just don't make real sense; they are simply a group of words that so
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hey thankx actually i love critical response other than some people who say my 9 year old daughter can write better than you i will certainly try to improve my poem writing ability so yeah i hope you reply to my furthur posts too
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