Poem for Aaron

Question

Sand I couldnt count,
Tears left dry on my cheeks,
Friends are not easy to be found,
For it's only thee who could cheer me up in a whole weeks,

Thine smile coolin' my burning heart,
Thou hast forsaken my mind,
Without thee things turn to be so hard,
And with thee...I'd happily celebrate mine Valetine!

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

I hope Aaron likes it; I don't.  The archaic 16th century pronouns are even uglier here than they were in your previous poem.  Forget them.

Beatrix · Answer

Finally... a line thou now speak my Lord. A broken promises I wrote flouted Thy will. Thy glance I need to remind myself of mine imperfection in art. I long for Thy guidance...I seek Thee at the edge of the world and nothing I found but hollowness. Back and guide I ask to Thee...

Forgive my intentional broken vow...nothing else I ask but Thy hands to lead the way for a true triumph. =)

Danke Mister Micawber!

Beatrix · Answer

YoHf
Julielai
Yohf,

The archaic pronouns do not go with the rest of the poem. Besides, they are used incorrectly.

Not that I'm an expert or anything.

Actually, I haven't even read the poem itself yet.

What I cared of was whether archaic pronouns should be used in modern poetry or not.

[8]

Mister Micawber and Julielai maybe talking about my previous poems, but am sure they both commenting on different poem...Mister Micawber probably compare "poem for Aaron" with my "Untitled (read 'How do you like my poem?')" and Julielai (still not sure though) might compare it to "for someone i thought i could trust" ? =) Anyhow...I thank you for the comments and critics guys =)

For anyone who master the OLD ENGLISH, I badly need your help. I wanna learn more about it. Mister Micawber...would be a great honor if you'd like to help me =)

This site is amazing!!

Beatrix · Answer

Julielai gave comment on "cadaver and essence" it's in 'check this out' if u wanna read...so...not on 'for someone I thought I could trust' hehehehe =)

Anonymous · Answer

You can start by reading [url=http://www.bartleby.com/68/42/6042.html]THIS[/url] and [url=http://www.kencollins.com/why-05.htm]THIS[/url] and [url=http://alt-usage-english.org/pronoun_paradigms.html]THIS[/url].

Here also are a few quotes from online poetry or literary reviews:

"The sole reservation I find myself harbouring with Alan Seeger's sonnets (especially the first series) is this: Seeger, who is after all a Twentieth Century poet, too often resorts to reliance on anachronistic language, and especially on the archaic pronouns, "thee" and "thou" to embellish his work, with the result that it sometimes sounds a little affected and quaint. Allow me a few examples:

"Like as a dryad,...", and "Come thou no less...." (Sonnet XII),
"That oft as Fortune from ten thousand shows..." (Sonnet XIV),
"Come unto me, Love beckoned them, for lo!" (Sonnet XV)
"Have made my asking less importunate," (Other Sonnets, Sonnet IV)
and finally,
"'... 'tis not so easy near." (Other Sonnets, Sonnet IX)

Such poetic phrasing, however melodious, a modern reader might find ever so slightly mars the otherwise pristine quality of Alan Seeger's devotionals to his Renaissance forbears. These anachronisms are all the more regrettable for their being inconsistent with his mainstream style, where he rather more scrupulously avoids using archaic language. Oddly, while the archaic pronominals "thee" and "thou" crop up fairly often in his first series of sonnets, he seems to have realized that such verbiage was, as it were, "a little off" when he came to compose his later second series, "Other Sonnets". In these, the archaic pronouns are gone. The second series of sonnets therefore sound more familiar and more natural to the modern reader's ear."

"[Allan Ginsberg] studied poetry under William Carlos Williams. who was then in the middle of writing his epic poem Paterson about his home town. Ginsberg, after attending a reading by Williams, sent the older poet several of his poems and wrote an introductory letter. Most of these early poems were rhymed and metered and included archaic pronouns like "Thee." Williams hated the poems. He told Ginsberg later, "In this mode perfection is basic, and these poems are not perfect."

"Other critics have commented on Hemingway's use of the archaic pronouns "thee" and "thou" and "thy" in For Whom the Bell Tolls. Carlos Baker describes this as "intentionally heightened language", intended to reproduce the tone of an Elizabethan epic. For Azevedo, the pronouns suggest "an old-fashioned poetic usage or the archaic diction of the King James Bible."

" My greatest single disappointment with Morgan's work is his affinity for Elizabethan English. I find the archaic pronouns, verb forms, and sentence constructions both annoying and distracting. It isn't as though he tries to hide this affinity though. He says plainly in the introduction that he is "thoroughly steeped in the grandeur" of the seventeenth century. His reliance on the King James Version of the Bible is obvious: I would have wished for more accessible language to complement his insistence on familiar music."

Googling the archaic pronouns individually or collectively, however, produces mostly heated discussions on the use of them in the King James version of the Bible. There and in Shakespeare are the only places that thee, thou, thy and thine reside comfortably and timelessly. Just as we no longer go about writing--

O lord, oure lord, thy name how merveillous
Is in this large world ysprad, quod she;
For noght oonly thy laude precious
Parfourned is by men of dignitee,
But by the mouth of children thy bountee
Parfourned is, for on the brest soukynge
Somtyme shewen they thyn heriynge.

-- we no longer go about using the archaic pronouns for any but the most specific of artistic purposes-- and that does not include love lyrics.

(Edit: After compiling all of the above, I forgot to log in!-- MM)

Poem for Aaron

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