PLz help me check this writing task 2 in Ielts, my target grade is 6.0

There used to be a lot of people who came from larger families. It is obvious that living in this place can be beneficial as well as detrimental.

Living in a bigger family has a number of advantages. To begin with, we must acknowledge that formed generations as our grandparents gain such invaluable experience and lessons, which may help children develop moral and social awareness holistically. Furthermore, having a high-standard family makes it easier to grow a talented person in the future, which can be considered as a pride of family. Another advantage could be that, preferring the mental life, all members of the family feel truly cozy when they return home with cherished people. As a result, they are motivated to work and develop themselves in a positive manner This also significantly reduces the risk of autism.

Living in larger families can bring about several drawbacks. One disadvantage could be that the family may cost lots of money to maintain essential demand for living. Therefore, parents can be put under financial pressure, which forces them to work harder. Obviously, this causes the lack of time for their children or, by then, they can have some stress-related health issues. In addition, generation gaps can result in conflicts between grandparents and parents or children. This is one of the causes for the breakdown of the family relationships. When the relationship among members is no longer good, it not only causes them to leave their home but also commit to social crimes.

To summarize, while living in a larger family can be advantageous, it also has several downsides.