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Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
[Plz] Could you review my writing?
Dear all,
I'm writing personal statement to apply for the university abroad.
I usually have Very Informal conversation, so I have trouble in writing personal statement formally.
Could you correct the below texts, which are the beginning parts of my personla statement.
I'd like to describe why I apply to ABC university. There are three reasons.
One is many outstanding faculty who are alumni members of ABC university.
Second is many publications written by researchers of ABC university.
Two reasons made to think about applying to ABC university.
The last one is recommendation from my academic advisor.
He is also an alumni member of ABC university.
Well, The below texts are the beginning parts.
So I have to be more careful to write the following texts.
If possible, Please please review and give me comments for any errors. Throughout my BS and MS programs, I have been taught by many outstanding faculty, who graduated from . And I read many publications on wireless communication engineering written by researchers. Outstanding alumni members and active researches were impressive enough to bring me constant motivations to pursue academic research at your school. In addition, my academic advisor for my MS degree, Prof. Peter, recommended me to study for my ph.D program at your school, where he studied for his ph.D and afterwards I decided to apply to your school.
Thank you very much for your consideration in advance.
I'm writing personal statement to apply for the university abroad.
I usually have Very Informal conversation, so I have trouble in writing personal statement formally.
Could you correct the below texts, which are the beginning parts of my personla statement.
I'd like to describe why I apply to ABC university. There are three reasons.
One is many outstanding faculty who are alumni members of ABC university.
Second is many publications written by researchers of ABC university.
Two reasons made to think about applying to ABC university.
The last one is recommendation from my academic advisor.
He is also an alumni member of ABC university.
Well, The below texts are the beginning parts.
So I have to be more careful to write the following texts.
If possible, Please please review and give me comments for any errors. Throughout my BS and MS programs, I have been taught by many outstanding faculty, who graduated from . And I read many publications on wireless communication engineering written by researchers. Outstanding alumni members and active researches were impressive enough to bring me constant motivations to pursue academic research at your school. In addition, my academic advisor for my MS degree, Prof. Peter, recommended me to study for my ph.D program at your school, where he studied for his ph.D and afterwards I decided to apply to your school.
Thank you very much for your consideration in advance.
Top answer
Here are my suggested corrections. The crossouts are my deletions of the existing text; the color bar words are my replacements or additions. I also added a few transistional phrases.
- Here are my suggested corrections.
- The crossouts are my deletions of the existing text; the color bar words are my replacements or additions.
- I also added a few transistional phrases.
- Other correct versions are possible.
- Throughout my BS and MS programs, I have been taught by many outstanding faculty , who graduated from ABC University.
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1 Answers
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Here are my suggested corrections. The crossouts are my deletions of the existing text; the color bar words are my replacements or additions. I also added a few transistional phrases. Other correct versions are possible.
Throughout my BS and MS programs, I have been taught by many outstanding faculty, who
Throughout my BS and MS programs, I have been taught by many outstanding faculty
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